Thursday, December 22, 2011

SORRY MUMBAI, YOU ARENT A METRO !


Alright, I am back after a long hiatus. If someone even compares me to a polar bear who hibernates for 6 months, I wouldnt be surprised. Btw, let me start by asking- "Does anyone still read this blog?"

Anyhow, back to the topic.... An Open Letter infact.

DEAR MUMBAI,

Its not that I dislike you. Its just that when you claim you are a mteropolis, it becomes hard to digest. I have nothing against you. Infact, I admire your famed 'spirit'. I also admire the super confidence with which your inhabitants claim that the Eastern Express Highway (EEH) is the best fuckin road of the world. Its another matter that they fall totally silent when they visit Delhi and see the average roads. I wont even go into how they feel when they see the best ones.

P.S. I am enclosing three pics of our roads here for your kind reference:






And just so you know Mumbai - I dont like Sonam Kapoor and Firstpost either. They have said things against you (Link 1 , Link 2) but I agree only 90% with them - not 100%! See, I say again - I dont dislike you. You know, in August this year, I had the option of choosing either you or Kerala as the destination for an official training. And I chose you. Its a different matter that I missed the opening session of the training because Rajdhani reached Mumbai Central late as it was pouring rockets and tracks were all filled up (as usual no?). But hey! I didnt get angry at all. I know its hard when you only have two seasons in an year - Rainy & Non-rainy.

And I am sorry I cant support your claim that you maynot have a winter season but atleast you are less hotter than Delhi during summers. You see, I cant feel the heat of Delhi's summers while traveling in AC Metro, no? Acha, heres a picture. Aint this the 'coolest' ? :)


But Mumbai, sometimes.. it becomes hard. Hard to control laughter, that is. I swear that every time when some Mumbai-ite says that his/her city is the future Shangai, I try very earnestly to control my laughter. But I fail every time :( . Damn! My apologies for that.

Acha yar, whats with your so called famed 'paani-puri?' I had that somewhere near Sion and immediately I knew why Delhi rules in food! It was.... umm..... to put it mildly... not good. And I am never ordering a 'thaali' again in any of your restaurants :( . Let me explain this by using an Einstein type equation:

Mumbai's 'thaali' = 1/4 (Delhi's 'thaali') in quantity

And from Webster-
Mumbai's chapati (noun) : Something that can ONLY be seen through a magnifying glass.

But you know what? I loved your airport. I mean its such a cute, small place. In Delhi, we have the new amazing Terminal-3 which is the size of a city. And there you have- a tiny cute airport. Aww!

Now I agree, theres one 'thing' you have a little edge in. The People (ofcourse only those who dont run after people from UP-Bihar with 'Weapons of Mass Destruction' in their hands). But we are working on it. Actually, the problem lies in the fact that while you deal majorly with Marathi Manoos-es, we have to deal with 10000 different Manoos-es. The 'floating population' here is waaay more than what you have. Hence, the crimes etc. Also, our CM doesnt 'own' Delhi police- Home ministry does. Thats a real ass-pain. I mean, Chidambaram uncle cant seem to handle his own 2G case properly. And he handles the police of the National Capital. Imagine !!!

Acha, chalo. I will go now. Lots of work. Hope you like my letter. Lots of love from our side :)


Cheers!

- Disgruntled Genius.

29 comments:

Purushu Arie said...

When it comes to Delhi vs Mumbai, it's Delhi anyday :)

But again, it depends on which context you are talking about. Apart from South Delhi, you can't call even Delhi a metropolitan!

Cities like Gurgaon, Bangalore and Chennai are much more modern and booming at a much faster rate!

Like forbes magazine pointed out last year, these three cities are gonna be the future atleast for next 15 years before cities like Ahmedabad, Pune catch up to their standards ;)

DISGRUNTLED GENIUS said...

@Purushu

I will add NDMC areas like West & Central Delhi also to South while talking about the nicest areas. But if you want to compare the 'metro-politan-ness', Delhi has the best infra and is a greater melting pot than any other city.

And, I am surprised that you didnt include Pune with Bangalore / Chennai :) . I think it is also a fast growing city.

Gurgaon, unfortunately, has reached a saturation point due to haphazard planning. I will pitchinstead Noida to grow faster.Cant say much about Bangalore / Chennai as I have visited only once - 2 yrs back - so no comments.

Snow Leopard said...

Hahahaha.....you really ripped apart the snobbish Bombay crowd.
The funny thing is, a crime will happen in Gurgaon or Noida or Faridabad or Gazhiabad or......and they will begin their anti Delhi tweets. It is akin to if we start lambasting Mumbai for something happening in Thane.
And their hypocrisy when they talk about Delhi-ites deciding the worth of a man by the car he drives. You talk to a person from the "town" and you will know what I am talking about.

Alka Gurha said...

Delhi rules!Delhities I am not sure.

dreamysap said...

huh what?!

Delhi has nice roads but gals can't roam around till 4 am.... :|

Lets take a opinion poll on the friendliness to strangers in both the cities..

And yeah you forgot to mention the great blueline buses in Delhi transportation section

Delhi winters and rainy seasons are a pleasure - 100% agreement on that one... :rolleyes:

airport, thaali serving ... - Size does matter - or so most guys think ???

Anyway we understand the Delhiwallah's urge to boast everything they have...

Nice pics btw

DISGRUNTLED GENIUS said...

@Dreamysap

4 am thing: I knew someone will surely mention this point and I think I have mentioned 'people' part in the post clearly. But hasnt the Kenan-Rueban case debunked the myth of Mumbai being safe?

Talkin about opinion polls..lets take one on ease of living, shall we? And ask any poor guy from UP-Bihar about the friendliness to strangers in Mumbai.

Bluelines dont exist anymore FYI. We have a new fleet of buses with new staff and there are hardly any accidents now.

Now.. airport 'size'. Well, heres the thing. You see, when a city desires to be a world-class nerve center, it SHOULD have an airport that can cater to vast numbers.

Abt the urge to boast... please refer to Snow Leopard's comment above. You will get your answer.

Ana_treek said...

I just came back from Mumbai two days back..n i did like it, maybe bcos i haven't been to Delhi in ages..but y so angry?

DISGRUNTLED GENIUS said...

@Ana

Na. Not angry at all. Just wanted to post a 'reply' to Delhi-bashers.

Suruchi said...

whoa..I looooooooooove Delhi more than Mumbai...in the latter I always feel as though the buildings any time would fall over me or bump into each other...Delhi is wide enough to breathe without fear...

I kinda liked the Delhi love here:-)

Eon Heath said...

Hey Buddy,

Mann, i would have ignored this if you were not so "Judgemental" about Mumbai just by one visit.

Mumbaites never claim anything, infact, ask any Mumbaikar how 'good' the city is, they would start ranting abt the overcrowded public transport, the monsoons n everything under the sun may be. But then, ask them if they "dislike" (n not HATE, like you said) it, they would never agree. They still love it.
Reason? Simple. Its wat we call home. like the way you talk abt Delhi.

EEH? mann, did someone really tell you its the best road we have? and i believe in all your visit you only saw that part of Mumbai...not your fault, try looking at some other places (Streets) in mumbai too. And yes, everything looks beautiful from a distance...(Read "aerial views"). Sit at Marine Drive at night and tell someone you dont like the view, or look at the "Sea Link" and tell its not good. So, i think we can rest the matter abt the "roads in Mumbai" aside.

You know what, call it coincidence, but when i took teh Rajdhani for my visit to Delhi, i was late too. coz ppl were pelting stones at it in protest of something. (approximately 4-5yrs back) But my point is, you can read about such stuff happening all across our country, so why so sour? ok i cant help but boast abt it, but mumbai (Central railway) has the DENSEST SUBURBAN rail network in teh WORLD, so you see, delays may happen.

Seasons..hmmm, i cant help but wonder, what has climate got to do with a city being a Metro or not?? o_0?

Food - hmmmm, if its the quantity, i bet there are places in Delhi where they serve less portions too. And as far as the pani Puri is concerned, let me ask you, if right from the beginning you were told that a certain thing has to be so n so, you would grow up believeing it to be so. So, teh Pani Puri in Mumbai is so, its not the Pani Puri in delhi, ITS MUMBAI. Try pani puri in any part part of the country it would taste differently. for the locals, THAT is pani puri.

Airport - Mumbai desperately needs a new airport. True. But you see, we have the same set of politicians that you do, so the second International airport that was supposed to be completed in 2011 is yet to be started upon. Progress happens at a painstakingly slow pace in our Country, why blame a city for it?

Buddy, i have lived in almost all of our Countries metros. what it taught me is not to compare them with Mumbai, but to see them for what they are. Nothing can take teh place of Mumabi in my heart, coz that is Home.

Dont see a thing with a pre set notion or any expectation, it ruins the fun.

Dont wanna be all preachy, but then, Mumbai rocks. Anytime.

Regards,
Eon Heath

moo-moo said...

Kya yaar...why ruffling Indian feathers? Delhi is world class no...next time compare with New York, LA etc, I am sure Delhi will emerge on top. Waving pictures of AC Metro, Good (albeit empty but GOOD) roads , from the top of statue of liberty or Golden Gate. Delhi is best. No arguments. :)

DISGRUNTLED GENIUS said...

@Eon

Thats a whole blog post man !

But ssly, I dont like "boasting" etc either. Its just that i have come across numerous blogposts against Delhi..esp from Mumbai ppl. Something bad happens in Gurgaon / Noida (Mind you, not Delhi) like the Metallica fiasco and a deluge of anti-Delhi tweets / posts. Dont you remember 'Madrasan's' vicious post? So, whats wrong in one anti-Mumbai post? Besides, I am entitled to being "judgmental" on my blog.

I liked your comment though. It makes for a good, logical argument. People tend to get all attacking while commenting on such polarising posts.

DISGRUNTLED GENIUS said...

@Moo moo

The sarcasm is indeed nice :) . But am sure this wit would have been replaced by 'anger' had I "compared" Delhi with Kolkata. Besides, I have visited that city much more than Mumbai, no ? ;)

moo-moo said...

Nah then the post would have been ignored. I mean IGNORED.

Gargi Gupta said...

Delhi is the heart of the city and I believe there can't be any comparison b/n Delhi and Mumbai...Delhi Rocks anytime, anyday, anywhere!

From,
A (slanted) Delhi lover :-)

harshad shinde said...

sorry, DG, you aren't a blogger! :P

so, you ARE aware, that the FIRST expressway in India, was between Mumbai and Pune? did you see the roads in Dadar? Parel? South mumbai? no? so all this was just biased and an attempt to "get back at" Delhi bashers? then ok.

hmmm..train reaching late?
all metros have their own climate control mechanism...and all metros get ALL their trains on time. Delhi, gets all their flights leaving the tarmac on time! always! what? 2 hrs average delay is normal? of course it is! come on!

i haven't had ONE flight out of Delhi leaving on time. maybe the airport has a thing against me :P


ahhh...."pani puri"...or as you like to call it, "gol gappe" (round talks?)...well, as rightly pointed out by Eon Health, Pani Puri changes with each seller...that's what makes or breaks a certain business...so you should've been to Shivaji Park...Dadar...BEST Pani Puri/Gol Gappe EVAR! i mean..i have had it all over the country, being a connoisseur of the dish...that is topped only by the gol gappe in Bhopal... :)

also, you went to all the wrong places bro...Khyber, in Fort , is the best place for thalis...

ammm...Airport...had politicos taken it up, Terminal 3, would've looked more like Terminal 1/3....there was a proposed airport in New Mumbai...which, well, was like 3 cities...but well, politics...no comment. :P

Marathi Manoos...well, that is a thing of the past...politically fueled...and cannot be taken as a representative of the city....else i would've called Delhi Khap'd... :P

chalo, anyways...gotta get back to work :P :P

DISGRUNTLED GENIUS said...

@Harsh

I can try making sense of "You are not a blogger" but no intention/time to 'decode'. Sweet comment though. But its not a totally biased post. Wrt Delhi, Mumbai is nowhere. Btw, when you say i have no knowledge of pani-puri etc etc..you have no knowledge of 'khap'. Its in Haryana's interiors, not Delhi.

And - (1) People from Mumbai form il-logical biases against Delhi based on incidents that happen in Gurgaon/Noida. Atleast what I have written is more logical. (2) As pointed out by Snow above, people from South Mum have bias against those from other regions of that city. This shows the hypocrisy. (3) If this post affected you so much, why you read that ? :) To get back at me by a mocking comment, no? C'mon Man. Grow up. Write a blogpost against me..."fight" me with wit / sarcasm. Read Moomoo's comment above.

Phew.

Its getting entertaining now :)

harshad shinde said...

this is spartaaaa....

errr...warrr!!

i shalt write a post ;)

just you wait mister :P

i am trying to grow up...but somehow keep growing sideways...manufacturing defect you see :D

post coming soon :D

DISGRUNTLED GENIUS said...

@Harish

Good. You have already provided me fodder for my next post ;). Btw, if you need some help, refer to this one -
http://www.whatthefckisgoinon.in/2010/10/special-reply-post.html

Eon Heath said...

Mann!! i do remmeber the madrasan's post...gosh, i could have posted a double post length comment on that... ;-)
but then, being a south Indian myself, i found it too biased to even consider replying...
true what you said, there are quite a few anti delhi posts n stuff, but liek the wise say, "dont bother what ppl say abt you on the last page as long as you are making news on teh front..(of course news for good reasons)"

Lastly, before even this comment turns out to be another blogpost, you have all the right to be judgemental on yout blog, as i have in replying to those... ;-)

Regards,
Eon Heath

Nidaa C. said...

I lov Delhi and all that. Owes 3 superbe years to her etc etc... But dont u think u r trying to pass of South Delhi as The Delhi?
And as for this Mumbai spirit and all... We all try to boost our hometown with ridiculous sobriquets.. I mean, my hometown Calicut (Kerala) is known as City of Honest folks (literal translation)

Nidaa C. said...

And yea... of course Delhi is miles ahead of Mumbai in everything except for the girls safety matter and local police' attitude (as per my experience)... though it never stopped us from roaming around Delhi at nights ;)

rashi said...

Now this definitely qualifies for what is called "Back with a BANG"!;)
Not so much in terms of the post but the kind of reactions it has invoked in people.. i mean look at the comments - they are a post in themselves.. :D
loved snow leopard's and Eon Health's comments.. :)
and for "pani puri" - simply love it but i dnt like it either in Mumbai or Delhi.. Gues thats not the kind of taste i grew up with.. So for me, best pani poori is in Lucknow! [Can't get that bias out of my system, no matter what!;)]
But for everything else, My Loyalties rest with Delhi.. :D

P.S. - was the first one to write a comment but gues some "technical locha" made my comment dissapear.. :(
or did you intentionally ignored it, DG? :P :P

rashi said...

sorry.. i meant "Eon Heath" and not Eon Health.. :|

DISGRUNTLED GENIUS said...

@Nidaa

Naa.. only East Delhi and some parts of North are congested. Otherwise, the city has bful, spacious roads etc :) . Women safety issues.. i agree. Work needs to be done in that area and its being done infact. May be coz of media attention but am glad the area is being taken up for major consideration.

DISGRUNTLED GENIUS said...

@Rashi

Arre don.. aisa ilzaam? It was definitely a techie locha. Blogspot doesnt know ki kiske comment ke saath panga liya hai usne ;) .

Dhakkanz said...

Eon: Ok. Lets forget about what Disgruntled Genius has to say, coz he has been here only for a short visit (I assumed this basis your comment).

But me, a Delhiite, who has stayed for more than 2 years now in Mumbai can claim to at least say some amount of of truth? Here is one truth, at least -

You say people in Mumbai never boast of anything!? Hahhahaha. You know, people here boast about Mumbai being better than Delhi, even when they haven't visited Delhi even for once in their whole life time. They claim that people here are more than welcoming and trust me man, definitely NOT!!

Even I don't say I hate Mumbai. But what I don't like about the city (basically the peole) that everyone here talks foul about Delhi without having visited Delhi.

Anonymous said...

Nice one yar...

Anonymous said...

Nice one yar...