Wednesday, September 28, 2011

SO I DIED FOR A DAY ...

[Disclaimer: This is a fuckin true incident. Believe it!]

Even God is a fan of this blog and yours truly .. Disgruntled Genius! And I realized that last Sunday. While I was doing the usual sunday stuff - sitting lazily with my black coffee and watching South Park - I noticed some sort of weird light.. which eventually 'transformed' into a dude with white beard. I was freaking surprised but somehow composed myself and asked him who he was. Our conversation went something like this:

Me - Who in Devil's name are you?
Bearded dude - I am God and I am here to grant you a wish.

Me - WTF? Awesome! But there are so many retards who pray to you 24*7. I dont even go to temples and you are giving me a wish?
God - You are the CHOSEN ONE because you are doing a very noble deed son. Your blog... is a politically incorrect marvel against stupidity. We all love it up there! We love you DG!

Me - Damn! Guess I really am the CHOSEN ONE.
God - Yes! Besides, those who pray 24*7 asking me for this & that etc etc crap.. they seriously irritate the hell out of me! And I love it when you "destroy" the stupidity on the blog!

Me - Cool! So, I get one wish? Thats it?
God - For now, yes. But dont worry. I will grant you a wish every freaking month!

Me - Awesome! Thanks God! Well, for now, I would like to die for a day.
God - WTF?

Me - I mean.. just to tour the so-called heaven and hell and find out what exact fuck goes on in these places?
God- O that! They dont exist. Its a man made shit. What we have is a 4-class system. Like a train or a cruise-liner.

Me - Come again?
God - Its like this. 1st class is for reasonably good & intelligent people. Jim Morrison, Kurt Cobain, Einstein etc. all went there. And BTW, we have a special luxurious compartment reserved for you.

Me - Reserved for me? Are you saying am gonna die soon?? Freaky !
God - No No! Not till 2050 atleast! I mean its there - reserved for you. With all the facilities. It has a mega-bar, cable connection, free internet for lifetime, Jacuzzi and what not? Plus.. hot heavenly chicks are just crazy about guys in the 1st class *wink* *wink*

Me - Naaicee !! Btw, whats there in 4th class?
God - Nothing. We just put those peoples' asses on fire. For life! LOLZ! An example is Hitler.

Me - See thats why I wanna die for a day. To visit all these classes. Also, to meet a few "residents" and see who all has their places already "reserved" there?
God - Cool. Ok. Close your eyes now. When you open them, you shall find yourself in first class. You can also visit your place and just tell me if you want some changes or additions. They shall be done without any hitches son.

Me - Thanks God! Am all set to visit the first class now!

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So, I closed my eyes. I dont fuckin remember how God did it but when I opened them, I was standing infront of a majestic gate which had "HEAVENLY RESIDENCY" written on top of that. And the tagline was - "We dont send pesky SMSes like Noida builders. Places are already reserved!"

So, I entered the gate. A Bentley was parked there..all ready to show me around plus escort me to my future KICKASS luxurious apartment.

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As I boarded the Bentley, I was full of excitement .. over the thoughts that this experience will make for a killer blogpost !

So..stay tuned for the adventures!

....................

TO BE CONTINUED ................

BTW, those who dont have patience or dont like such abrupt endings to a blogpost... too bad. Wait for next one now.

Cheers...................................

8 comments:

Niyati Gupta said...

What a title and post! Hilarious no doubt bt you have crossed limits of freakiness!

Rituparna said...

Waiting ....

Sakshi said...

Freak show you are! Idiot! EVEN more so!

Suruchi said...

this sounds like a mad journey...can we please continue, the Chosen One?:-)

Sonia said...

Ha ha ha ha ha...

I liked this post for two reasons...

1. The style of writing and the concept was interesting and hilarious!

2. You are CRAZY !!!! :D :D :D

P.S. Out n out immodesty and freaky nature :P :P
M waiting for the next :)

abhilasha said...

Intellectual politically incorrect day dreamer!!!
Aapke charan kahan hain ???
BLACK coffee was really strong it seems...
Which class for me sir???

Tarzan said...

Naaaice... how many virgins will you get?

Maitreyee Bhattacharjee Chowdhury said...

Hehe..good one..will read up the next ones..I missed I guess