Saturday, September 10, 2011

AWESOME 5 POINT STRATEGY TO JUNK LONELINESS

Alright. I am back to blogging after almost 2 months and my only question is: Does anyone still read this thing? Not being over-optimistic but I am hoping for atleast two comments (not counting spam ones like "Hot girls in your neighborhood want to meet you NOW! Click this supercool link").

Now, loneliness? People view it as negative but I define it as that moment when you are one peg down, have no one to talk to as its 3 AM and your past "love-ly" experiences are brutally pounding on your heart & mind. Or, my current situation basically.

Now some morons will 'kill' these moments by lying on their beds and watching the ceiling while sadly thinking about the time gone by. Or by seeing porn. Not me dudes. I cant do the former. About the latter.. I do indulge. But not at these moments. So, I devised an awesome 5-point strategy to deal with this situation. That is:

1) WRITE SOMETHING. ANY GODDAMN THING.

The awesome post you are currently reading.. is not just a post. Its a de-stresser. So, pour yourself a big mug of black coffee and write cool stuff like this.

Tip: DONOT write emo poetry which will definitely suck more than a vacuum cleaner.

2) THE IDIOT BOX

TV. The solution to every damn problem. Open it, flip through the channels and relax. You can find plenty of hot, cool, moronic, outrageous, sexy, idiotic etc stuff to pass time. 24*7 TV - God bless you dudes !

3) WATCH SEINFELD OR SOUTH PARK

If there are two sitcoms that are worth mentioning in the same sentence as the phrase - "Mood Uplifters" - it is these two. Esp. South Park. Nothing amazingly funnier than watching George Costanza making a fool of himself or Cartman plotting another evil scheme to wipe out entire fuckin humanity.

4) AXE THE EX

Alright. This one is tricky. Shes the reason that you are having this goddamn lonely moment. So what do you do? Counterattack ofcourse. Simple military strategy. If she made you smile in some moments, remember - she wasnot there in many other moments when you badly needed her coz you were feeling down.. kinda as if crushed under the weight of 300 fully-grown running elephants. Remember those moments.. and FOLLOW STEP 1.

5) REMEMBER HOW AWESOME YOU ARE

Finally, reflect on yourself. Remember, you are awesome (unless ofcourse, all you do is lie around drinking cheap beer and watching porn 24*7). You've got good job, achievements, recognitions & targets PLUS you have an awesome life, if not perfect. In the walk of life, you'll meet an awesome chick / dude who will definitely be there when 300 fuckin giant elephants are crushing you badly. So, chill.

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This was my 5 point strategy to combat and 'eliminate' loneliness. Am sure there are many other strategies existing in the world. All those who comment (if they do) .. share your strategies, if you wanna (ofcourse, if applicable).

Adios.

14 comments:

Naina said...

Seinfeld, check can't go wrong with that as it is hard to feel as miserable as George :)

Awesome yes i am and if he didn't see that he needs to get an eye exam hehe

rashi said...

Wat the F**K happened to u dude?? Just Two comments?? ur expectations are getting lesser day by day..
I must say, this one definitely deserves many more than that.. :D
and as for my strategy - I bet u know it more than I do.. ;)

Alka Gurha said...

Welcome back...I can only say that thank your stars for all that you have...

Red Handed said...

umm...i do stalking..yeh Twitter and facebook...for making me feel more happy and uplifted, i go through all the fb profiles of all the beautiful anorexic chicks from my school who have now become fat and ugly...lifts up my mood :P

awesome post!

DISGRUNTLED GENIUS said...

@Naina

Well put :)

@Rashi
Thanks don .. Good to see that i can increase my expectations in time for next post :D

And apki awsm strategy ... u bet ;)

DISGRUNTLED GENIUS said...

@Alka

True :)

@RH

Nice strategy i must say ;)

Nidaa C. said...

Hey you are back... Awesome! SOUTH PARK And Tennis are mine...

Aqua Guy said...

Two words.. Air. Guitar.
Screw all else,n feel like a rockstar! :P

Anonymous said...

i call random people and talk to them,just to get my mind off shit..

and i also shuffle through people's blogs,to feel better!! .and your's did that :)

Blasphemous Aesthete said...

Get some air bro, confining yourself in solitude owing to your ex does nothing good to you, but She'd for sure be happy if she came to know about your plight.

Now Drugs don't work, they just make you worse, and verse sometimes. :P

Nice read, and hope the destresser is followed by the trademark posts on the M-Man et al.

Cheers,
Blasphemous Aesthete

DISGRUNTLED GENIUS said...

@BA

M always destressed ... hence this post :) . M-Man is takin a break but he'll be back soon.. probably with a sidekick this time.

☆ Rià ღ said...

lol!! interesting read.

abhilasha said...

this to shall pass... bhagwan per bharosa rakhein.. uske ghar mein der hai.. andher nahin... :-)

D2 said...

There is also one more thing that you forgot to put there. It actually goes best if you mix it up a little all of them, but it isn't that bad on its own either. The key is getting high. Get some vodka or tequila or just good old marijuana. Nothing better than a loooong laugh and remembering how awesome you are! :D