Monday, July 18, 2011

AN INTERVIEW WITH DIGVIJAYA SINGH

Well, I know my blog updates have fallen drastically. Its due to some mental fuckups, busi-ness and ofcourse, laziness. Yep, I am a normal , occasionally irritated , sometimes having fucked up days , lazy 26 year old. And hence, 'unblogging' since a few days. But I am back. And I have with me an exclusive article / interview.

Yes folks, Disgruntled Genius brings to you - the Digvijay Singh interview.

DG : Thank you Sir for taking time out for this interview.
DS : The pleasure is all mine. BTW, you arent from BJP / RSS / Hindu organizations right?

DG : Hain? Nahin yar!
DS : Good. You see I dont like these Hindu terrorists err.... fundamentalists err.. you get the gist.

DG : Yeah I do. Sigh. Anyway sir, why do you think terrorists "love" us so much?
DS : Well, obvious reason. You see boy, they love the safety of our country. Kasab, Afzal etc etc are all safe, hale and hearty. Who wouldnt want to come and visit a safe country?

DG : Ahem, they arent tourists Sir. And what about the general population?
DS : General population? Who are they?

DG : People like me and .. no, not you.. but me and thousands of anonymous common citizens of this country Sir.
DS : Oh Acha! Haan so, what about them?

DG : What about our safety Sir?
DS : Ofcourse we care about it. Didnt you hear our PM roar that we wont let these terrorists go unpunished?

DG : Our PM? Roaring? Wow! When?? Anyways, the court cases drag on for centuries and even after judgments, terrorists 'enjoy' our hospitality.
DS : O yar, you are impossible. You want the riots to happen? The country will flare up if we hang / punish these terrorists err.. 'distracted youth'.

DG : And why is that Sir?
DS : Well, you are so fuckin naive DG ! Members of a certain community will be offended , you see.

DG : So, basically you are suggesting that members of that community will be enraged if you punish those who bring a bad name to the community? Do you think the community will look towards you as their 'saviour' if you dont do any developmental work for them but do these silly gimmicks?
DS : Hain? Please stick to relevant questions. No moral lectures!

DG : Right. So you think we all are mindless sheep?
DS : Umm, that will be correct , yes.

DG : So whats this 'saffron terror' you keep mentioning?
DS : The 'Hindu' terror. RSS and all other Hindu groups are chief perpetrators . As I said recently, I think they are even behind Mumbai blasts and every other blast that happened in country!

DG : Even last December's Varanasi blasts?
DS : Ofourse! They are behind everything. Even Rahul Baba's constipation!

DG : WTF! Why will "Saffron terrorists" strike Varanasi of all the places? And Rahul Baba's constipation???
DS : Aur kya? See, he had fever and took some medicines. Since he had those medicines, hes having constipation. And you know - the doctor who gave those medicines has RSS feed on his website! Clearly, its a 'Hindu' conspiracy.

DG : Absolutely Genius Sir! You can put Sherlock to shame!
DS : He he. Now you are embarrassing me .

DG : Sir, can I ask a simple question?
DS : Haan Haan, poocho.

DG : Sir, why are you adding colors like "saffron" to terrorism? A terrorist aint Hindu / Muslim. Swami Aseemanand (Malegaon / Hyderabad blasts' accused) and Kasab are both criminals. Shouldnt we simply kill off terrorists rather than thinking of their religion? People of both communities die in terror attacks. They dont give a rat's ass for religion of a terrorist. Just kill them off already!
DS : Nice words. You should be in politics. You are a good orator. But I have no time now ok? I have to find other fucked up things that can be blamed on RSS etc. Oh , infact I just found one!!

DG : What?
DS : Mosquitoes! One son of a parasite bit Madam ji yesterday. Yes! RSS' conspiracy!

DG : Fuck my life!

--

Thats where I stood up and ended the interview. Too much to handle man!

--

Sigh.

12 comments:

Red Handed said...

SHEEEEP?? We actually are sheeps if you look at it.
I loved the RSS feed part..ROFL!
Rahul babas constipation is the last thingto be worried off. Maybe his brain death should be given relevance.
nice read!

Alka Gurha said...

That was fun...

I feel DS should be pushed into Sea exactly where his Osama JI was shoved. He loves to flirt with sentiments and worst is Madam and Baba do not reprimand him. Why should they? DS says what they are not able to say in public.

Prateek said...

OMG. I can so relate Fuck and Digvijay Singh. Are they synonym?

Atrocious Scribblings said...

Hilarious Post.

Rahul Baba's constipation and RSS feed were the standouts.

DISGRUNTLED GENIUS said...

@Red Handed

Thanks :)

@Alka

DS is 'planted' by Madam & baba. Sad...the religious depths to which these ppl have fallen.

DISGRUNTLED GENIUS said...

@Prateek , @Atrocious Siblings

Thanks :)

CRD said...

This is the umpteenth post abt how the government isnt putting Kasab to death...why doesnt anyone understand that the government doesnt have the right to punish anyone...the judiciary does..and the judiciary is not the fiefdom of the govt?

secondly, kasab is not being 'protected' coz the govt fears riots..hes being held for information...and fyi he's already been sentenced to death.

Let's not be unfair and falsely accuse any govt, whether it is the congress or the BJP or any party for that matter, merely going by popular opinion.

DISGRUNTLED GENIUS said...

@CRD

So, how will you describe Afzal Guru whose mercy petition is held up since long? Kasab will go the same way ofcourse.

CRD said...

ok...comparisons then...

Point 1
Kasab killed innocent people...with his own hands. He was tried for murder.

Afzal was a co-conspirator in the attack on parliament. He was tried for 'war against the state'. He did pretty much what Bhagat Singh did during our freedom struggle. He himself is labelled a Kashmiri freedom fighter

Point 2
Kasab does not have the support of Indian muslims. They hate him equally

Afzal is supported by Muslim factions who want freedom for Kashmir. Hence Human Rights groups are pleading for clemency for him

Point 3
Hanging Kasab will not lead to riots. It will on the contrary count as justice

Hanging Afzal will be implied as the martyrdom of a freedom fighter...which the govt seriously doesnt want...they dont want him to be glorified as a martyr.

Afzal is not roaming freee...He's in jail under Rigorous imprisonment..How is that better than death at the gallows?

Be fair while debating. We've had enouh of jingo-patriotism already

DISGRUNTLED GENIUS said...

@CRD

'Muslim factions who support Kashmiri freedom struggle' .. Do you know who they are and what are they labelled / called? I hope you do.

'Kashmiri Jehad' isnot a freedom struggle dude. If it is, then why 'throwing' Kashmiri Pandits out? "Intellectuals" like you profess such clemencies for Afzal etc under arguments that do nothing but further alienate the minority community.

Enuf of your so-called liberal intellectual mindset. Afzal is a terrorist and those who think Muslims (or anyone who cares for the country) support him.. is fooling him/herself. This is what i have written in my article.

--
"So, basically you are suggesting that members of that community will be enraged if you punish those who bring a bad name to the community? Do you think the community will look towards you as their 'saviour' if you dont do any developmental work for them but do these silly gimmicks?"
--

Hangin Afzal will not lead to riots etc as you have pointed out. And demand to hang Kasab isnot jingoism. Its a message we NEED to send out to terrorists. Otherwise, the day isnt far enuf when intellectuals like you and jingoists like me become victims of some blast.

Go read the article again and then say.

EOD

CRD said...

Kasab IS gonna be hanged. He HAS been sentenced. And it is the COURT who sentenced him and which will put him to death..and NOT THE GOVT. So don't be ignorant and put the onus on the govt...coz the Govt is merely an administrator...IT IS NOT a law enforcer...

Hanging Kasab is not enough...it will not avenge those killed in 2008. He is samll fry. Getting the masterminds behind it will bring real justice...and that will happen only when Kasab is still there to stand as witness.

Abt Afzal...what can I say? One man's terrorist is ALWAYS anothers' freedom fighter. Whether you like it or not.

CRD

DISGRUNTLED GENIUS said...

Govt becomes a law enforcer when it sits on mercy petitions for years. Kasab will go the same whether you believe me or not.

I can sense you have the sympathies for the Govt and "freedom fighters" but you cant deny that Govt has failed us when it comes to terrorism. You are from Mumbai I guess? You should know better.