Wednesday, February 23, 2011

STUPID FACEBOOK STATUS MESSAGES !


People never cease to amaze me! They always put such stupid status messages on FB that can actually motivate aliens to attack us and wipe us out just to punish us for being dumbasses. While I have come across certain "crusades" earlier , there are plenty more FB messages that need to be over-analysed. I apologize in advance if someone thinks of the analysis as too offensive.

(1)

" All of us have a thousand wishes. To be thinner, have more money, a new phone. A cancer patient only has one wish, to kick cancer's ass. I know that 97% of you won't post this as your status, but my friends - will be the 3% that do. In honor of someone who died, or is FIGHTING cancer, post this for at least one hour "


This one has been goin around since days. Amazing, no? First of all, how the fuck they arrived at the 97-3% statistic? And also, those who listen to this creep and actually post the message (i.e. become the privileged 3%) shall remain friends while the other 97% can go fuck themselves!

I am sure all the cancer patients around the world will be smiling with satisfaction knowing that this message is floating around on FB while the "posters" will be having wet dreams thinking about how awesomely concerned persons they are.

(2)

People giving highly excited status messages !

Look! I understand that you have just seen Shahrukh or Salman in person and are very excited. But you dont have to make an orgasmic shout on FB -

"OMG! OMG! OMG! SRK !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I cant believe it !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Seriously, no one gives a fuck. those who do are doing it out of pity because they understand your need for attention seeing your 100 exclamation marks.

(3)

People 'asking' you to 'like' something !

I am saying this seriously - All those status messages which say :

" If you love [ India / Rakhi Sawant / Communism / My dog / his dog / Dog poop / My poop ] etc etc , hit the 'Like' button "

- are pure evil! They test that whether you are a human with brains or a zombie. I dont even understand why will anyone pimp for some FB page about Rakhi Sawant!

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To be cont.

Thats that for now ... But I shall be back. And you better 'Like' it!

Mind It Rascala !

15 comments:

Nikita said...

hahaha...

fun reading it..
and all is so..true..

have u seen fb status " Goodmorning"..

lolz....

Nehha N Josshi said...

Want to read more of these...:D

Blasphemous Aesthete said...

true, these status messages and the stats they use, its a little ridiculous. And what happens if they saw SRK or any other celebrity. I am sure if God or Yamraj turned up, they would not be able to utter a single word leave alone tweeting or FB updating.

Nice read.

Cheers,
Blasphemous Aesthete

Alka Gurha said...

First one is for telecom? telecon? companies. Second sounds like some hyperventilating female, perhaps demented.

The msgs are to prove cerebral presence.
I like funny ones though.

Mayank said...

dude you are nasty cruel evil !! lol

elks said...

abe kya kuchh bhi likhta hai saale...
facebook pe jeeta hai aur facebook ki leta hai... heheheh

Ana_treek said...

I don care much about SRK status msgs n al but the cancer thing is just ridiculous!

Priya said...

Haha, that's funny! Like the statuses are going to help cancer patients...that one really was a bore!
Although I have to say, the lovey-dovey poem-ey messages the ones that irritate me the most!!
On a different note; if one actually didn't give a fuck, then one wouldn't have been writing about how little and/ no fuck one gave! I'm just saying! ;P

DISGRUNTLED GENIUS said...

@Nikku, Blasphemous , Mayank ..

Thanks ...

DISGRUNTLED GENIUS said...

@Neeha .. Part 2 will surely come !

@Elks .. FB ki nahi .. Wahan befkoofi karne waalon ki.

@Priya
How did i miss love-y dove-y ones! For part-2 surely :) . And I dont give a fuck.. but irritation gives rise to creativity ..so have to pour my heart out :)

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Niket said...

hahaha..it was a nice read dude..
liked it! :)

Dhakkanz said...

Hahhaha. Nice one. Actually I have been getting some of these 'Like' and frigging crazy status messages on my wall. Complete Bullshit!

Ajinkya said...

and as if the shitty statuses were not enough we got these game and application requests too......post is freakin cool man....rofl...

Ajinkya said...

and as if the shitty statuses were not enough we got these game and application requests too......post is freakin cool man....rofl...

Ajinkya said...

and as if the shitty statuses were not enough we got these game and application requests too......post is freakin cool man....rofl...