Wednesday, February 23, 2011

STUPID FACEBOOK STATUS MESSAGES !


People never cease to amaze me! They always put such stupid status messages on FB that can actually motivate aliens to attack us and wipe us out just to punish us for being dumbasses. While I have come across certain "crusades" earlier , there are plenty more FB messages that need to be over-analysed. I apologize in advance if someone thinks of the analysis as too offensive.

(1)

" All of us have a thousand wishes. To be thinner, have more money, a new phone. A cancer patient only has one wish, to kick cancer's ass. I know that 97% of you won't post this as your status, but my friends - will be the 3% that do. In honor of someone who died, or is FIGHTING cancer, post this for at least one hour "


This one has been goin around since days. Amazing, no? First of all, how the fuck they arrived at the 97-3% statistic? And also, those who listen to this creep and actually post the message (i.e. become the privileged 3%) shall remain friends while the other 97% can go fuck themselves!

I am sure all the cancer patients around the world will be smiling with satisfaction knowing that this message is floating around on FB while the "posters" will be having wet dreams thinking about how awesomely concerned persons they are.

(2)

People giving highly excited status messages !

Look! I understand that you have just seen Shahrukh or Salman in person and are very excited. But you dont have to make an orgasmic shout on FB -

"OMG! OMG! OMG! SRK !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I cant believe it !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Seriously, no one gives a fuck. those who do are doing it out of pity because they understand your need for attention seeing your 100 exclamation marks.

(3)

People 'asking' you to 'like' something !

I am saying this seriously - All those status messages which say :

" If you love [ India / Rakhi Sawant / Communism / My dog / his dog / Dog poop / My poop ] etc etc , hit the 'Like' button "

- are pure evil! They test that whether you are a human with brains or a zombie. I dont even understand why will anyone pimp for some FB page about Rakhi Sawant!

--

To be cont.

Thats that for now ... But I shall be back. And you better 'Like' it!

Mind It Rascala !

Friday, February 11, 2011

MAHAJAN-MAN RETURNS : THE CURIOUS CASE OF INDIA TV !

//Disclaimer: The post intends to make fun of Rajat Sharma - of India TV fame. The post was published yesterday with 'Rajat Kapoor' instead of 'Sharma'. The mistake has been corrected. However, if some animated panels still have 'Kapoor', pls read that as 'Sharma'. This is to avoid confusion. Thanks. //


[ This post is in response to Cybernag - Zephyr's tag. I wanted to write something on how media chooses to show idiocy instead of relevant news. But seriously, I couldnt think of anything better than to ask 'Mahajan-Man' for help!]

After his previous adventure - kicking Rakhi Sawant's ass, Mahajan-Man went into his shell. But hes back with his new kickass mission - THE CURIOUS CASE OF INDIA TV!

Somewhere in DeepShit - Rajat Sharma's secret hideout


meanwhile - the evil plans of india tv were taking shape





ALL THIS WAS TOO MUCH FOR OUR SUPERHERO.


AND HE RE-DISCOVERED HIS GROOVE


AND SO.. MAHAJAN-MAN FLEW .. TO RAJAT SHARMA'S ULTRA-AWESOME HIDEOUT









AND THEN - SHARMA UNLEASHED THE WORST NEWS EVER ON MAHAJAN-MAN !






THAT WAS GETTING TOO MUCH FOR OUR HERO!


SHARMA.. THEN, WENT FOR THE 'KILL'






THIS ATTACK NEARLY DESTROYED MAHAJAN-MAN! BUT HE HAD ONE LAST ACE UP HIS SLEEVE !






LITTLE DID RAJAT SHARMA KNOW THAT IN THE MEANTIME, MAHAJAN-MAN USED RIVAL NEWS CHANNELS TO BROADCAST HIS 'BRAINWASHING RAY'.


THAT BRAINWASHED PEOPLE TO WATCH ONLY ONE CHANNEL FROM NOW ON -










THIS WAS TOO MUCH FOR RAJAT! HE DIDNT SURVIVE A MINUTE W/O TRP! PEOPLE WATCHING SENSIBLE NEWS DESTROYED THE ASSHOLE.

...

one more mission accomplished for Mahajan-Man ...


HEROES NEVER DIE, NEVER FADE AWAY! THEY ALWAYS LIVE IN OUR HEARTS!

The world was , however , in grief!


Disgruntled Genius (DG): I dont know that. But O sexy chick, I do know that true heroes never die! I can only say...

stay tuned !!!

long live MAHAJAN-MAN!

----


Thursday, February 10, 2011

VALENTINE DAY - WHAT THE FUCK?

Back to blogging after so many days! Lately, been busy with stand up acts and 'Campusghanta' - A no holds barred web-zine designed by like-minded wierdos to 'destroy' stupidity and ofcourse.. entertain. And as an act of blatant promotional campaign- heres the link :


Back to the post now. Seriously, I hate the commercialized shit called V-day from the bottom of every organ and cell of my body. And it gets better! As it turns out, the V-day is not just a day. Its a whole bloody week!

As in -

  • Feb 7 - Rose Day (I will give you one alright.. with thorns to prick you out of stupidity!)
  • Feb 8 - Propose Day ( I propose to count "I hate you from my guts" as a genuine proposal)
  • Feb 9 - Chocolate Day ( I like them so no anti-statement)
  • Feb 10 - Teddy Day ( Seriously, who comes up with all this shit??)
  • Feb 11 - Promise Day (I swear to God I fully support Shiv Sena on this issue!)
  • Feb 12 - Hug Day (A day to hug your intelligence and decide to junk the V-day crap!)
  • Feb 13 - Kiss Day (The only sensible day! Am all game for a little lip-exercise with some hot chick! )

    AND FINALLY

    *DRUMROLLS*
    FEB 14TH - VALENTINE DAY !

    - A day designed to make companies like Archies, Hallmark and Durex become insanely richer by giving them ample opportunities to harvest general human stupidity and failure to understand that you dont need a crappy day to "celebrate love" . If loves there, it makes every fuckin' day special.

    Anyhow, I have decided to add one more day to this. From now on , I declare FEBRUARY 15th as "WHAT THE FUCK IS GOIN ON!" Day. A very day dedicated to my awesome blog and ofcourse, my frustration regarding the Valentine Day drama.

    Ah! Cant wait for the special day!

    Cheers all.......... Happy WTFIGO Day in advance!

    -