Thursday, December 22, 2011


Alright, I am back after a long hiatus. If someone even compares me to a polar bear who hibernates for 6 months, I wouldnt be surprised. Btw, let me start by asking- "Does anyone still read this blog?"

Anyhow, back to the topic.... An Open Letter infact.


Its not that I dislike you. Its just that when you claim you are a mteropolis, it becomes hard to digest. I have nothing against you. Infact, I admire your famed 'spirit'. I also admire the super confidence with which your inhabitants claim that the Eastern Express Highway (EEH) is the best fuckin road of the world. Its another matter that they fall totally silent when they visit Delhi and see the average roads. I wont even go into how they feel when they see the best ones.

P.S. I am enclosing three pics of our roads here for your kind reference:

And just so you know Mumbai - I dont like Sonam Kapoor and Firstpost either. They have said things against you (Link 1 , Link 2) but I agree only 90% with them - not 100%! See, I say again - I dont dislike you. You know, in August this year, I had the option of choosing either you or Kerala as the destination for an official training. And I chose you. Its a different matter that I missed the opening session of the training because Rajdhani reached Mumbai Central late as it was pouring rockets and tracks were all filled up (as usual no?). But hey! I didnt get angry at all. I know its hard when you only have two seasons in an year - Rainy & Non-rainy.

And I am sorry I cant support your claim that you maynot have a winter season but atleast you are less hotter than Delhi during summers. You see, I cant feel the heat of Delhi's summers while traveling in AC Metro, no? Acha, heres a picture. Aint this the 'coolest' ? :)

But Mumbai, sometimes.. it becomes hard. Hard to control laughter, that is. I swear that every time when some Mumbai-ite says that his/her city is the future Shangai, I try very earnestly to control my laughter. But I fail every time :( . Damn! My apologies for that.

Acha yar, whats with your so called famed 'paani-puri?' I had that somewhere near Sion and immediately I knew why Delhi rules in food! It was.... umm..... to put it mildly... not good. And I am never ordering a 'thaali' again in any of your restaurants :( . Let me explain this by using an Einstein type equation:

Mumbai's 'thaali' = 1/4 (Delhi's 'thaali') in quantity

And from Webster-
Mumbai's chapati (noun) : Something that can ONLY be seen through a magnifying glass.

But you know what? I loved your airport. I mean its such a cute, small place. In Delhi, we have the new amazing Terminal-3 which is the size of a city. And there you have- a tiny cute airport. Aww!

Now I agree, theres one 'thing' you have a little edge in. The People (ofcourse only those who dont run after people from UP-Bihar with 'Weapons of Mass Destruction' in their hands). But we are working on it. Actually, the problem lies in the fact that while you deal majorly with Marathi Manoos-es, we have to deal with 10000 different Manoos-es. The 'floating population' here is waaay more than what you have. Hence, the crimes etc. Also, our CM doesnt 'own' Delhi police- Home ministry does. Thats a real ass-pain. I mean, Chidambaram uncle cant seem to handle his own 2G case properly. And he handles the police of the National Capital. Imagine !!!

Acha, chalo. I will go now. Lots of work. Hope you like my letter. Lots of love from our side :)


- Disgruntled Genius.

Thursday, October 20, 2011


Gaddafi is dead. And it deepens this mystery -

Why the fuck all dictators get killed while hiding in some drain or hole? Saadam was killed in same Gaddafi. Fuckin rats all.

Anyhows, the point of the post is the reaction of our "celebrities'" / famous people Gaddafi's death. So.....Have a look:

PM Manmohan Singh:

O baincho ! Thank god, we are a democracy! Otherwise Anna and his supporters would have come marching to 7,Race Course Road with guns!!

Shah Rukh Khan:

Cool! Now I can add to Ra.1 promotion OVERKILL by launching this new shit::

Digvijay Singh

Am sure its RSS Conspiracy! And am sure, I spotted Arvind Kejriwal somewhere near Gaddafi's dead body. Hes also involved! Team Anna is corrupt.. RSS is corrupt... all are corrupt. Except Rahul baba.

Rahul Gandhi

Hmm. Wonder whats Mummy's take on this.

L. K. Advani

I shall launch a new "Libya Chalo" yatra.

Rakhi Sawant

I was toh thinking of marrying Gaddafi after Ramdev refused me . SHIT! :( :( .

Sachin Tendulkar

Aila !

Chetan Bhagat

I shall write another idiotic, brainless, pseudo-intellectual romantic shit involving Gaddafi and his buxom female bodyguards!

A. Raja

What the bhen? He should have fleed to our jails! Would have been much safer here no?


I agree with Raja !!


I agree with both of them !!

And finally....the biggest celebrity... Me!


What the fuck is goin on???

Saturday, October 1, 2011


Warning : Emotional Post. Not to be read w/o handkerchiefs.

[ The concluding parts to the previous post 'So I died for a day' will continue later.]


Before any dumbass feminist sues me, let me be clear that this post is NOT about some manipulative girl or something.. its about an actual bitch.

The one reason I have always liked dogs and cats (esp cats) is that they are much better than stupid and manipulative humans. A dog will never bitch (pun intended) about you to other dogs. Plus if you show love, they will love you back no matter what. On the other hand, humans love to hurt those very people who care about them the most.

Anyways, lets not get too preachy or weepy. This post is not about that.

It was some 12 years ago that I first noticed a small bitch sitting outside my home. She was looking hungry so I gave her some milk. And since then, the 'cycle' formed. She started living in our block only. Every night when I used to come back from my walk, she used to dutifully follow me for her daily "milk treat".

I got admission into engineering and then MBA and used to be away from home for long periods. But even in my absence, her love (if I can call it that) never subsided. She used to show her 'happiness' (like dogs usually do, by jumping like maniacs and all - I always found it a little irritating but liked) and follow me for the treat.

I never named her although one of my friends had suggested "Balwant Rai" (Remember Sunny Paaji's famous kickass dialogue in Ghayal - Balwant Rai ke kutto?). I liked it but let that pass.

Since I suck at/ dont like showing emotions, I didnt use to play with her or "talk" to her in that irritating way like some dog owners do (they get on my nerves!!) but I always felt nice to see her. There have been many days when she was the only bright spot of the whole lame-ass day.

But it was all over last night. She is no more now. When I learnt that, I didnt know how to react. I wont/cant write a lame emo paragraph describing how I felt but I will just say that I had to write this post - as a tribute to a nameless friend of 12 years.


Wednesday, September 28, 2011


[Disclaimer: This is a fuckin true incident. Believe it!]

Even God is a fan of this blog and yours truly .. Disgruntled Genius! And I realized that last Sunday. While I was doing the usual sunday stuff - sitting lazily with my black coffee and watching South Park - I noticed some sort of weird light.. which eventually 'transformed' into a dude with white beard. I was freaking surprised but somehow composed myself and asked him who he was. Our conversation went something like this:

Me - Who in Devil's name are you?
Bearded dude - I am God and I am here to grant you a wish.

Me - WTF? Awesome! But there are so many retards who pray to you 24*7. I dont even go to temples and you are giving me a wish?
God - You are the CHOSEN ONE because you are doing a very noble deed son. Your blog... is a politically incorrect marvel against stupidity. We all love it up there! We love you DG!

Me - Damn! Guess I really am the CHOSEN ONE.
God - Yes! Besides, those who pray 24*7 asking me for this & that etc etc crap.. they seriously irritate the hell out of me! And I love it when you "destroy" the stupidity on the blog!

Me - Cool! So, I get one wish? Thats it?
God - For now, yes. But dont worry. I will grant you a wish every freaking month!

Me - Awesome! Thanks God! Well, for now, I would like to die for a day.
God - WTF?

Me - I mean.. just to tour the so-called heaven and hell and find out what exact fuck goes on in these places?
God- O that! They dont exist. Its a man made shit. What we have is a 4-class system. Like a train or a cruise-liner.

Me - Come again?
God - Its like this. 1st class is for reasonably good & intelligent people. Jim Morrison, Kurt Cobain, Einstein etc. all went there. And BTW, we have a special luxurious compartment reserved for you.

Me - Reserved for me? Are you saying am gonna die soon?? Freaky !
God - No No! Not till 2050 atleast! I mean its there - reserved for you. With all the facilities. It has a mega-bar, cable connection, free internet for lifetime, Jacuzzi and what not? Plus.. hot heavenly chicks are just crazy about guys in the 1st class *wink* *wink*

Me - Naaicee !! Btw, whats there in 4th class?
God - Nothing. We just put those peoples' asses on fire. For life! LOLZ! An example is Hitler.

Me - See thats why I wanna die for a day. To visit all these classes. Also, to meet a few "residents" and see who all has their places already "reserved" there?
God - Cool. Ok. Close your eyes now. When you open them, you shall find yourself in first class. You can also visit your place and just tell me if you want some changes or additions. They shall be done without any hitches son.

Me - Thanks God! Am all set to visit the first class now!


So, I closed my eyes. I dont fuckin remember how God did it but when I opened them, I was standing infront of a majestic gate which had "HEAVENLY RESIDENCY" written on top of that. And the tagline was - "We dont send pesky SMSes like Noida builders. Places are already reserved!"

So, I entered the gate. A Bentley was parked there..all ready to show me around plus escort me to my future KICKASS luxurious apartment.


As I boarded the Bentley, I was full of excitement .. over the thoughts that this experience will make for a killer blogpost !

So..stay tuned for the adventures!


TO BE CONTINUED ................

BTW, those who dont have patience or dont like such abrupt endings to a blogpost... too bad. Wait for next one now.


Tuesday, September 20, 2011


Ours is a nation of marriages. As soon as neighborhood's douchebag uncles & aunties notice a young, marriageable dude / chick; they arm themselves with details of "eligible lifepartners" and start thinking when the fuck should they pounce on the poor guy/girl.

But, do they really know what marriage should be and is all about?

Well, have no fear as Disgruntled Genius is here with simple criteria - the most important ones though - on which EVERY marriage should be based. Otherwise its all junk.

Firstly, Marriage is NOT about -

  1. Sex
  2. Kickass rich guy / chick
  3. Relatives
  4. Good family
  5. Groom has kickass Family business / Bride's father wants a heir for his kickass business
  6. Age
  7. Kids
  8. Settling in life
  9. Papa ke friend ki beti / beta




Its ONLY about -

  1. Whether the guy / chick is compatible with you - in levels of demented-ness i.e. whether they are as mad and crazy as you?
  2. Whether you see them as a companion for life (esp in moments when you know you'll be at your weakest) - ultimately this is what we marry for.
  3. Whether they FULLY understand what you want and why you want it?
  4. Doesnt matter if they are perfect for the damn world.. are they perfect for you.. SPECIFICALLY?
  5. Whether they are able to respect your smallest of achievements or not?
Everything else is hogwash.

So, the next time some uncle or aunty comes to your home with details of "eligible morons" , ask them these questions and gladly watch them run away cursing you.


This post was a part of DG's Social responsibility towards ending the terror regime of these marriage expert uncles & aunties.



Related posts : A Tribute to the Aunties

Sunday, September 18, 2011


'Unplanned' events turn out to be more awesome'
- Disgruntled Genius

Sometimes, what we dont plan actually trumps a planned outing in both - freakiness & awesomeness levels. And tonight was one such freak show on display. Infact, it was a collection of such amazing situations that merit their own blogpost.

Well, the initial situation was pretty normal. Me & one of my best friends (lets call her RB) decided to meet up over dinner today. So, I called up a rest. and booked a slot for 8 PM. Normal so far, you may say? Now..the freak show begins!

8 PM , JNU Campus

I met RB at 8 PM and she noticed we were both dressed in black - in other words.. the "Matrix dinner". Well, we were actually supposed to reach by 8 but hey! We are true Indians! We are allowed to be late. So, we were.

8.35 PM, Kasturba Gandhi Marg , Cannaught Place (CP).

We reach the rest. - Parikrama (revolving rest. atop a skyscraper). By this time, my stomach was already conjuring up images of Palak Paneer and Butter Naan. Anyhow, we reached the reception area and I told the guy that we have a reservation.

About that guy btw - Typical Eastern UP fellow. Possible wife-beater. Definitely, always roaming around with "Fuck everyone" expression.

He told us that the rest. doesnt 'take' reservations. When I told him that - I HAVE BOOKED A DAMN SLOT - he (wanted to shoot me but didnt) told me that we'll have to wait. Seeing that arguing with him will be as futile as telling Rakhi Sawant to wear full clothes, we decided to drop anchor and just wait.

By this time the reception area was full of other guests. That **Eastern UP, wife-beater** guy was receiving continuous calls and he was responding to all with the same fuckin irritating line - "Haan Sir. Pehle do hain. Fir 3+1. Fir 4. Fir 5 aur 6."

By this time, I wanted to insert a ruler up his ass.

9.05 PM - Parikrama Rest.

Finally, the moment arrived. Our names were called. We got up, looking at everyone else smugly, with an expression "Guess we are the chosen ones eh!".

9.09 PM , Parikrama

Frankly, the view of Delhi from top was absolutely stunning. But everything else in the rest. - wasnt! We were thinking it'll be a conducive dinner ambiance but it turned out to be a family box instead! Families.. noisy, chirpy, with kids .. families!

Anyhow, we were escorted to our seat which was next to .. yeah, a loud Punjabi family of 7 members - Aunties, Papaji and kids. Shouting.

And that was the time when RB uttered those magical words - "Lets get the fuck out of here man!". And we did - Had a glass of water and scrammed.

9.20 PM, Parking

Back to the parking. We decided to try Rajdhani - which was also crowded as hell (seemed like whole Delhi was eating out this Sat).

We finally decided to try 'Veda' - undoubtedly kickass rest. and designed by Rohit Bal. Now, because its so kickass, the waiting time was fuckin 30-45 minutes.

9.40 PM, Driving around CP

That was when we decided to junk the classy, pricey rests. and go to Bengali foods instead. By now, We were in full mood to eat the oily & spicy chole bhature and aloo parathas - in other words, classic amazin Indian food!

9.55 PM , Bengali foods, Bhagat Singh Market

Man! Amazing aloo parathas with curd, chole bhature and a nice blueberry pastry!

One thing I wanna tell those pricey, classy rests. - BEAT THAT!

10.10 PM , Same place

Some infuriated chick (her order was wrongly delivered) pushed RB. We thought of taking revenge but well... plans shelved.

10.25 PM, Costa Cafe, Tansen Marg

Closed! Fuckin cafe!

10.40 PM , Barista , Parliament Street

Open! Good cafe!

The hazelnut mocha (RB's soulmate) & green apple iced tea - amazing.

11.10 PM

Back to JNU Campus thinking - "Jaana tha Japan, pahuch gae Cheen! Damn!"


This is how the events unfolded. Planned things went haywire. And a realization struck me -

'Unplanned' events turn out to be more awesome'

All we did was rest. hopping but it was worth it! And I think RB would agree to this - 'Normal people lead boring, planned lives. We aint normal. No wonder our lives are interestingly and amazingly .. freaky.'

Cheers .................

Friday, September 16, 2011


( Disclaimer: Only intended to be funny. Stereotypes etc .. though intentional .. are not here to hurt someone. Its just something called.. free speech. Also, there are bad illustrations and bad editing done in MS-Paint but hey.. I OWN THIS BLOG. So, read. )

Well, twitter is abuzz with "Madrasan's" rather racist blogpost:

.. and also its 'response' by a Delhi dude


What few people know, however, is that Madrasan's blogpost infuriated some real badasses and they plotted an evil plan to set her right. Let me tell you folks.. the plan was executed successfully and Madrasan is non-racist, simple girl yet again.

Heres how the badass & kickass 'evil' plan unfolded::

A day after writin the now-famous racist post, 'M' was relaxing at her house

Little did she know that some people were so infuriated that they decided to take cold revenge instead of merely blogging against her

They were none-other than -

Their plan was simple YET evil.

As 'M' was about to finish her idli-dosa lunch, she was kidnapped and taken to a secret cinema hall.

Why cinema hall, you might ask?

For treating her to 15 hour non-stop SUNNY DEOL MOVIES !



After 15 hours of this ---



And so, Punjabi SWAT saved the day again. In the words of their leader supreme:


Alls well.. that fuckin ends well.

Saturday, September 10, 2011


Alright. I am back to blogging after almost 2 months and my only question is: Does anyone still read this thing? Not being over-optimistic but I am hoping for atleast two comments (not counting spam ones like "Hot girls in your neighborhood want to meet you NOW! Click this supercool link").

Now, loneliness? People view it as negative but I define it as that moment when you are one peg down, have no one to talk to as its 3 AM and your past "love-ly" experiences are brutally pounding on your heart & mind. Or, my current situation basically.

Now some morons will 'kill' these moments by lying on their beds and watching the ceiling while sadly thinking about the time gone by. Or by seeing porn. Not me dudes. I cant do the former. About the latter.. I do indulge. But not at these moments. So, I devised an awesome 5-point strategy to deal with this situation. That is:


The awesome post you are currently reading.. is not just a post. Its a de-stresser. So, pour yourself a big mug of black coffee and write cool stuff like this.

Tip: DONOT write emo poetry which will definitely suck more than a vacuum cleaner.


TV. The solution to every damn problem. Open it, flip through the channels and relax. You can find plenty of hot, cool, moronic, outrageous, sexy, idiotic etc stuff to pass time. 24*7 TV - God bless you dudes !


If there are two sitcoms that are worth mentioning in the same sentence as the phrase - "Mood Uplifters" - it is these two. Esp. South Park. Nothing amazingly funnier than watching George Costanza making a fool of himself or Cartman plotting another evil scheme to wipe out entire fuckin humanity.


Alright. This one is tricky. Shes the reason that you are having this goddamn lonely moment. So what do you do? Counterattack ofcourse. Simple military strategy. If she made you smile in some moments, remember - she wasnot there in many other moments when you badly needed her coz you were feeling down.. kinda as if crushed under the weight of 300 fully-grown running elephants. Remember those moments.. and FOLLOW STEP 1.


Finally, reflect on yourself. Remember, you are awesome (unless ofcourse, all you do is lie around drinking cheap beer and watching porn 24*7). You've got good job, achievements, recognitions & targets PLUS you have an awesome life, if not perfect. In the walk of life, you'll meet an awesome chick / dude who will definitely be there when 300 fuckin giant elephants are crushing you badly. So, chill.


This was my 5 point strategy to combat and 'eliminate' loneliness. Am sure there are many other strategies existing in the world. All those who comment (if they do) .. share your strategies, if you wanna (ofcourse, if applicable).


Monday, July 18, 2011


Well, I know my blog updates have fallen drastically. Its due to some mental fuckups, busi-ness and ofcourse, laziness. Yep, I am a normal , occasionally irritated , sometimes having fucked up days , lazy 26 year old. And hence, 'unblogging' since a few days. But I am back. And I have with me an exclusive article / interview.

Yes folks, Disgruntled Genius brings to you - the Digvijay Singh interview.

DG : Thank you Sir for taking time out for this interview.
DS : The pleasure is all mine. BTW, you arent from BJP / RSS / Hindu organizations right?

DG : Hain? Nahin yar!
DS : Good. You see I dont like these Hindu terrorists err.... fundamentalists err.. you get the gist.

DG : Yeah I do. Sigh. Anyway sir, why do you think terrorists "love" us so much?
DS : Well, obvious reason. You see boy, they love the safety of our country. Kasab, Afzal etc etc are all safe, hale and hearty. Who wouldnt want to come and visit a safe country?

DG : Ahem, they arent tourists Sir. And what about the general population?
DS : General population? Who are they?

DG : People like me and .. no, not you.. but me and thousands of anonymous common citizens of this country Sir.
DS : Oh Acha! Haan so, what about them?

DG : What about our safety Sir?
DS : Ofcourse we care about it. Didnt you hear our PM roar that we wont let these terrorists go unpunished?

DG : Our PM? Roaring? Wow! When?? Anyways, the court cases drag on for centuries and even after judgments, terrorists 'enjoy' our hospitality.
DS : O yar, you are impossible. You want the riots to happen? The country will flare up if we hang / punish these terrorists err.. 'distracted youth'.

DG : And why is that Sir?
DS : Well, you are so fuckin naive DG ! Members of a certain community will be offended , you see.

DG : So, basically you are suggesting that members of that community will be enraged if you punish those who bring a bad name to the community? Do you think the community will look towards you as their 'saviour' if you dont do any developmental work for them but do these silly gimmicks?
DS : Hain? Please stick to relevant questions. No moral lectures!

DG : Right. So you think we all are mindless sheep?
DS : Umm, that will be correct , yes.

DG : So whats this 'saffron terror' you keep mentioning?
DS : The 'Hindu' terror. RSS and all other Hindu groups are chief perpetrators . As I said recently, I think they are even behind Mumbai blasts and every other blast that happened in country!

DG : Even last December's Varanasi blasts?
DS : Ofourse! They are behind everything. Even Rahul Baba's constipation!

DG : WTF! Why will "Saffron terrorists" strike Varanasi of all the places? And Rahul Baba's constipation???
DS : Aur kya? See, he had fever and took some medicines. Since he had those medicines, hes having constipation. And you know - the doctor who gave those medicines has RSS feed on his website! Clearly, its a 'Hindu' conspiracy.

DG : Absolutely Genius Sir! You can put Sherlock to shame!
DS : He he. Now you are embarrassing me .

DG : Sir, can I ask a simple question?
DS : Haan Haan, poocho.

DG : Sir, why are you adding colors like "saffron" to terrorism? A terrorist aint Hindu / Muslim. Swami Aseemanand (Malegaon / Hyderabad blasts' accused) and Kasab are both criminals. Shouldnt we simply kill off terrorists rather than thinking of their religion? People of both communities die in terror attacks. They dont give a rat's ass for religion of a terrorist. Just kill them off already!
DS : Nice words. You should be in politics. You are a good orator. But I have no time now ok? I have to find other fucked up things that can be blamed on RSS etc. Oh , infact I just found one!!

DG : What?
DS : Mosquitoes! One son of a parasite bit Madam ji yesterday. Yes! RSS' conspiracy!

DG : Fuck my life!


Thats where I stood up and ended the interview. Too much to handle man!



Wednesday, June 29, 2011


Alright. Facebook and many of its dimwit users are at it again - Destroying intelligence as we know it!

The latest special FB "special" status message goes something like this:

When I was a Kid, I did not have a Xbox or a Wii. I had a cycle,a cricket bat, I played with my friends OUTSIDE, not ONLINE. My mother did not call me on my cell phone, she just yelled my name out of the window. Post this on your wall if you have drunk water out of the tap, come home with scraped hands & knees after climbing walls & trees,played 'Hide & Seek' and playing in the rain:-)I miss those days. :(

Let me get this. You are sad, depressed etc etc because you miss your days of outside fun. And yet, you are here.. inside.. posting this shit on FB. Can stupidity & hypocrisy reach any higher? Even Uday Chopra has learnt to be sensible and has decided to quit acting. But these people?

Also, all those silly 'cryptic' status messages.. whats with those?

Isnt it funny as hell when people write cryptic status messages like - "It finally happened!" or "A new beginning" etc? When you ask them what the hell does it mean or why have you written this James Bond type message, they say that its only for some special people to understand. Really douchebags? And you write this on a public forum? Do you think we are in some 'Mission Impossible' movie where you write this "code" for some secret agent to decipher?

I pray to God for some sanity !

Amen !


Cheers.................................... HIC !

Monday, June 20, 2011



As we all know, our superhero kicked Rajat Sharma & India TV's ass in his last adventure (link). But that adventure left him almost dead. He spent 2 months on Jupiter - recuperating - and regaining his awesome powers (link). Last week when he returned to Earth and slapped Dimpy hard on her cheek, we knew that our beloved superhero is back in form! And he has a whole new dangerous mission up his sleeve. Read on ...........


Its chaos everywhere.
Corruption. Scams. New one everyday.
Govt. has stopped listening to Civil Society.

Just when everything looked lost,

HE returns !

Amidst this crisis, Anna meets M-Man

As we all know, M-Man cant tolerate Govt. injustice. He stands up and Roars..

The Dig-Man ofcourse - the Lord of the Dark forces. The Man who is so anti-RSS that he wants Govt to ban all sites that have RSS feed.

And so, M-Man flew to DigMan's lair - codenamed '10 + 1 , Janpath' .

Its our beloved M-Man against the Dig-Man! The most dangerous FACEOFF since that of Luke & Darth Vedar!

While M-Man was thinking, DigMan launched a surprise attack. His most famous 'Ji' Attack (link).

And so, M-Man engineered a tactical retreat.

Ofcourse, he didnt run away. He just went to get the perfect man to counter DigMan's BS...

And that Man was none other than -

Yes! The Man himself !

One man capable of so much BS!