Thursday, December 9, 2010


We the people - the stupid common citizens of this country. How naive we are that we think our Government cares about us. Varanasi blast and numerous other terrorist attacks have proved otherwise. Reality, ofcourse isnt what we believe - as evident from these sets of conversations between -

PM (Prime Minister) , Prince ( No.. not the kid who got rich by falling into a hole but - 'him' ) , CM (UP Chief Minister) and ofcourse - the stupid common man or, SCM .


SCM : Help me please! One more terrorist attack. Save my life and kill those bloody jehadis.

PM: Help you?? Arre bhai, first let me save my ass, no? 2G scam has been hounding my honest ass nowadays. I am going to plead..err.. meet 'Madam' and discuss the future.

SCM: Future? Of nation?

PM: No, you idiot.. MY future. FTW !

SCM: Wait! But arent you just a prop to keep the seat warm till Prince boy takes over?

PM: Err.. Watever ! Dont pass judgment on me. I am here because am very capable, you see?

SCM: Right! You cant even talk to save your ass. Scams take place under your watchful eyes and you dont / cant do anything about them. What a Hercules-isque PM really !

PM: See, you are hurt. Dont worry. We will ...

SCM (interrupting him): YA YA I know ! We will bring guilty to book. We share your pain. Maintain peace. BLAH BLAH Right?

PM: Wow!! How did you know what I was gonna say dude? You are a genius!

SCM: Junk it! I am used to your dialogues now. Thanks to your awesome hardline techniques, I witness a lot of attacks in a year and you say the same things after every one of them.

PM: Wateva bro! I am off to 10, Janpath. You have some problems.. go talk to Rahul Baba. He solves all my problems - vadda sohna munda hai. Go now, dont bug me!


SCM: Sir, please solve my problems. Me, my family, my cities are in danger. Please!

Prince: Umm.. are you a Dalit?

SCM: WTF? Whats that got to do with it?

Prince: No, you see , I love to discuss and solve problems but only over dinner. And I can have dinner at your house.. only if you are a dalit.

SCM: What the hell? The problem is infront of you man!! You have to kill those terrorists and save my ass - the idiot who voted for you!

Prince: Umm.. well, you see , its all fault of the UP CM. She has turned the state into a mess. She doesnt care about the people. She..

SCM (interrupting): Huh ! This aint your campaign speech forum. I am begging you for help !

Prince: Hmm.. I think I will go and discuss this with Ma. Only she can help us all.

SCM: You dont have an opinion on anything, do you?

Prince: He he. Not really.

SCM: And you are our "PM-in-waiting" ?

Prince: Hehe. Yes.

SCM: Shoot me! FML !!

Prince: Umm.. hey, aint I young, charming and all that shit! Youth..esp girls love me, dont they?

SCM: That showed in Bihar alright!

Prince: Wateva! Am going. You please talk to UP CM. I think she can help you better.


SCM: Mam! Please help me! Save me from terrorists! How can they dare attack Varanasi - one of the holiest cities in this world?

CM: Abe. You a dalit?

SCM: WTF!! Does that matter?

CM: Haan! I hate Upper caste 'Manu-wadis'.

SCM: Wait. Those who get killed arenot Dalit, Brahmin, Hindu , Muslims. They are just .. dead.

CM: I dont give a shit. You see, I am busy in important things like upholding the honor of Dalit community.

SCM: What? How?

CM: Cant you see my statues? When Dalits see those, they feel proud and happy. And that makes me feel happy.

SCM: Let me see. You keep demanding funds from Central Govt saying state's coffers are empty but you built gigantic statues worth crores. People - dalits, brahmins etc - die of malnutrition and you think statues make them happy?

CM: Thats the beauty of it!

SCM: But dont you think if you actively pursue terrorists and nail them and their henchmen, people will be slightly more happy?

CM: Well, I can do that. Everyone can. But we love our citizens. And we cant displease a "certain community" just because some people went awry.

SCM: BUT! Terrorists have no religion ! Just kill them already! And if you dont kill them because you think it will displease people of a "certain community", dont you think you are indirectly saying they all are the same while the truth is they also hate these rotten apples among them.

CM: Huh? You speak too much. Fine! I promise an inquiry commission. Happy?

SCM: Yes. Terribly .. happy. I will go now mam. And I also promise - from tomorrow onwards, I will shower extra love over my family before I venture out.

CM: Why so?

SCM: Who knows? I might not come back .. all thanks to you guys, no?


SCM went home .. and slept. While those who are entrusted to make his life better - couldnt. Not because they were worried about him - but because everyone was involved in some scam or the other and they were worried how to save self-asses.

Long live democracy ... nay , democrazy !



Deepika Vasudeva said...

the real problem lies in our perception. Even after suffering train blasts, Mumbai- 26/11 and everyday attacks in Kashmir we still go on voting for these hypocrites who call themselves ministers and enjoy the power for nothing in return.
Not that if not congress, BJP will 'take care' of this issue.. its just that all are corrupted.. even if there is one person who is left (which i seriously doubt) will be transformed into those good-for-nothing ppl by already present weeds.
it might be a pessimist approach but yes, i have no hopes for improvement... not any soon till this prince and his sultanate is in power. nt yet.

iriDescent speculist said...

mast hai bhai..!!...RESPECT..!!! :D

Priya Shah said...

I dont know how you think these .. but am glad you do :) . Amazing ............

Alka Gurha said...

I am so disillusioned with all that is going on..Every one is on the make and the take...Power rules.
Nice post Mayank.

Azad said...

Awesomely written bro!!
You painted the correct picture without mincing your words!
Keep up the good work!!

Cheers :)

Radha said...

so true...If ever I come across Rang de basanti gang I'll surely join them:))

Blasphemous Aesthete said...

If that is the problem, who elected them in the first place?


@Iridescent , Alka , Himanshu , Radha... thnx :)

@Blasphemous .. We did.But all voters cant be put into the same bracket. One type votes with sound logic..other one does so on basis of personality / caste etc.... unfortunately, latter outnumbers the former.

Blasphemous Aesthete said...

well there is another bracket then. The ones comprising of disgruntled people, who vote for the least corrupt out of the whole bunch. And that does not mean not corrupt. Its sad, but then, I don't wish to get into politics just because I want clean politics. Do you?


Lets face the truth. No-1 is a 'Bhagat Singh' or a 'Nehru' today. Every1 is corrupt in some sense or the other .. even you & me. So, the "least corrupt" bracket is a misnomer. You vote for the person who may be a total asshole but will still put nation / state / development first than the loot. Thinking about an honest politician is a misplaced idealism. Eg... you really think Obama is an angel ? :D . Abt politics, I do want to get into it someday. Clean / no-clean doesnt matter. I just wanna make a positive difference in some part of the country.. even if small.

MangoMan said...

Probably the best I've read on this blog. Rahul's 'hehe no' made me chuckle!! Sarcasm max. Spice max. Wit max. Could be edited a bit I guess.

Pleasure reading.


@MM .. Thanks :)