Wednesday, December 22, 2010

JHAKAAS AWARDS OF 2010 !



2010 is drawing to a close and the most coveted DISGRUNTLED GENIUS' JHAKAAS AWARDS are here.

Without further ado, here are the winners:

(1) ASSHOLE OF THE YEAR

A. RAJA

For not only being involved in the biggest scam ever but also being smug about it.


(2) MOST DISTRESSING SCAM OF THE YEAR


Well, 2010 was the year of the scams. Every fucking day came with new scams. It was difficult to give top honors to anyone but then Adarsh scam scored in one area where others didnt - the definition of victims. While CWG , 2G , Radia etc scams affected everyone and particularly nation's economy in general, Adarsh was perpetrated against widows of our brave martyred soldiers. Top armymen, politicians etc grabbed plots meant for war widows. Really.. you cant go lower than this.

(3) THE MOST OVERHYPED DUDE

Barrack Obama.

He has fucked up on every front at home. And he came to India with a beggars bowl. Despite that, we behaved just like a teenage girl who has got a sudden chance to have sex with her long time crush! Get a grip people! BTW, I pity those assholes who awarded him the Nobel for Peace 2 years ago. What a bunch of cracks!

(4) THE MOST USELESS SHIT

Munni v/s Shiela debate.

Get this straight : I DONT GIVE A DAMN FOR WHOS BETTER OF THE TWO! I mean, every fucking news channel is hell bent on solving this debate. Who the hell cares? People are dying of hunger in a country which records wheat surplus and we are debating who among the two is a better "item" ? Get a life people !

(5) THE MOST RIDICULOUS CONTROVERSY


Look, I sincerely believe it was a planned move by SRK to generate hype around the movie - which was shit anyways. People went ballistic on Shiv Sena and supported SRK like hes God fighting against Satan. I really pity those who lit candles and watched the movie - ONLY to "support SRK" in his "fight". They will sit at home and masturbate instead of voting in general elections but for this - fully ready for combat. Way to go!

(6) THE ONLY BRIGHT SPOT OF THE YEAR

Bihar.

The people of Bihar rejected caste shit and voted for development. The only politically bright spot of the year for India.

(7) CRAP MOVIE OF THE YEAR

Well, My Name is Khan lost very narrowly to - KITES !

The biggest craphole of the year. Yes, Barbara Mori was superhot but hey! I aint gonna spend 150 bucks on 'Silicon' alone. There has to be some substance!

(8) SCARE OF THE YEAR





ENOUGH SAID!


(9) TERRORIST OF THE YEAR

Phew! Really tough award. So many stalwarts like Arundhati Roy in the fray. But the winner is..


The Congress Gen. Secretary is our honorary terrorist of the year. Why? For -

1) Attending a book launch function of "26/11 - RSS ki saazish". While the whole world knows who planned 26/11 Mumbai attacks; a senior Cong. leader attends this function. Bravo!

2) Suggesting that 26/11 was a hindu conspiracy and that Mumbai ATS chief Hemant Karkare (who laid down his life fighting terrorists that night) was "murdered" by RSS people.

3 ) Visiting houses of slain terrorists (killed during Delhi's Batala House encounter) in Azamgarh and pleading support to their families.

4) Naxal sympathizer.

This man is a genius! In one stroke, he has suggested that Ajmal Kasab is a RSS man. Awesome! We are enlightened!

(10) FUCKED-UP-COZ-OF-CHOICES AWARD

Goes to the people of West Bengal.

While people of Bihar had a good option in Nitish Kumar against Lalu ; people of Bengal are truly fucked up. They have Mamta Bannerjee against CPM in next year's assembly elections ! Which is like 'Kahani ghar ghar ki' against 'Saas bhi kabhi bahu thi'. Both useless and without substance. Best of luck Bengal !

(11) CITY OF THE YEAR

New Delhi .

Truly a city of character. During peak construction frenzy of Commonwealth games, Delhi resembled a war zone. But it came out triumphs. Just like it has done over the years and centuries. No wonder, it is one of the oldest surviving city in the world.

While most Delhiites (just like most Indians) are morons, the city is the one with lots of character. Hats off to this city for winning every battle - be it against CWG people or politicians or even many of its own citizens - who are such idiots that they dont care about the hygiene and respect of a place they call their home!

(12) NON-CITY OF THE YEAR

Mumbai.

Marathi Manoos chasing hapless UP,Bihar people in the name of "local sentiments". Need I say more about the city? Mumbai-ites claim that its the most happening city in India. Ya right! It sure is happening - on the asses of outsiders.

Also, if something has bugged me over the years, its the "Mumbai spirit". Whenever there have been unfortunate bomb blasts or terrorist attacks in Mumbai, people go all ballistic claiming that it will bounce back the next day as it has a "unique spirit". Well, its not unique to Mumbai alone. Every city - after an attack - be it Delhi or Ahmedabad or Jaipur has "resumed" normal life the very next day as ordinary citizens have no choice but to get on with their lives. But we are constantly forced through the overhyped "Mumbai spirit".

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The year-end JHAKAAS awards arent over yet! There are many more categories - thats for later part. Right now, lets congratulate all the winners; esp people like Raja and Dolly Bindra - the 'once-a-century' geniuses !

God bless all !

Cheers............................................. and Merry Christmas !

-

18 comments:

Alka said...

Thumbs up...!
Digvijay Singh is an insult to humanity.He needs to spend a night with Dolly Bindra (aur chaabi kho jaye)for his scarily stupid remarks.

Riya said...

Yours is da blog of the yr .. :)

Luv !

Priya Shah said...

Jhakaas ! Better than even Nobels ! Keep it up DG :)

raji said...

The awards were just jhakas!The one I enjoyed the most was "overhyped guy" mr obama:) and also the" scare"she looked really hot on the bike!

Maitreyee Bhattacharjee chowdhury said...

Good one & ribtickling too...but would like to ask..if not Mamta WHO then..BTW I hate her idiotic passion as much as U do..but seems like the land of politicos has no choice beyond the idiots & the villains.

MissTerious♥ said...

jhakaaaas post...:P
scare of the year is lookin funny on the bike :D

Ana_treek said...

lol..nice post!..loved tha dolly bindra part :)

Nidaa C said...

true dude, adarsh society scam is the most disgusting i'v come across in a loong time and that is saying something, living in this ---

Deepika Vasudeva said...

Hmmm.. Agree with the adarsh scam.. Biggest and uglist one. And dolly bindra looks real 'nicey' in that bike pic.. :-P
though i want some elaboration on a certain aware.. And hope for it to come soon .. And can you plz add some more awards like this in it...!

MangoMan said...

You're swiftly climbing up some ladders, man!

'not going to vote' and 'delhites are morons' bits were just too good.

Solid post!

nOt anyone you know said...

full marks!

Merry Christmas!

Disillusioned guy said...

awesome dude!!!!
thats one of kool blog.. found it in recommendations of words matter JHAKAAS!!!!
yeah... screw those morons!!!!!

Nehha N Josshi said...

Haha...I remember how my friends living in south mumbai (where obama "ji" was placed) couldn't celebrate Diwali in full swing! The Sena was hibernating then, I guess;)

Enjoyed reading!

Blasphemous Aesthete said...

Awesome work. How many days of homework have you done. Oh but how many days(years) they might have put in to earn these awards.
Bravo.

Kudos.

DISGRUNTLED GENIUS said...

@All..

Thanks for visitin and appreciations :)

KB said...

I think you forgot to metion the number of rapes, record no of car thefts in Delhi and congratulate the delhi people on that. Seriously dude Delhi-ites rock and win all battles.

DISGRUNTLED GENIUS said...

@KB .. Not denying the rape stats. Every city has some 'dark area'. The only thing is - Mumbai has more. Will tel u all in a special 'Mumbai' post someday.

Anonymous said...

Hmm.. nice research... interesting views.. and a great blog.. but I would not be surprised if the writer is a Delhi-ite... Cheers!!!