Wednesday, December 29, 2010

THE JHAKAAS AWARDS 2010 - CONCLUDING PART.


The Jhakaas awards - yes, the most coveted of them all - are here. In my previous post, winners of certain categories were announced. Heres presenting the rest of the categories.

(Disclaimer: We have no association with Nobel , Oscars or Filmfare awards federations. We are better than those shits. )

Without further ado, here are the winners:

(1) DEUTSCHE-BAG(S) OF THE YEAR

HRITHIK ROSHAN & ABHISHEK BACHCHAN

Raavan , Khelein Hum Jee Jaan Se and Kites. Enough said. BTW, I am not surprised that Bachchan Sr. sells everything - from expensive suits to Navratan 'Thanda thanda cool cool' hair oil - on TV. If I have a son like that, I will also work so much for funds! And that begs a question - When will Roshan Sr start doing ads? Its about time dude!


(2) TREND OF THE YEAR

LIVE STAND UP COMEDY ACTS

Frankly speaking - this has been the best trend in years. We Indians always take our lives so seriously that we forget to enjoy it. Atleast now, with the rise in live stand up comedy routines and acts (in which one can even participate on the spot), we can learn to enjoy a tad more. Although most of the jokes still revolve around stereotypes but the scene is improving fast - especially in Delhi.

(3) "I WILL RULE FOREVER.. EVEN IF 100 YRS OLD" AWARD

Sachin Tendulkar

The God himself! At 37 years, he just had one of his most successful years in cricket. Take a look:
  1. Became the first one to score 200 in a one-dayer
  2. Won ICC cricketer of the year award
  3. Completed 50 test 100s
Phew.. and a lot more. I am 100% sure I am gonna see this dude lifting the World Cup at Wankhede Stadium on 2nd April 2011.


(4) "I AM STUPID BUT POPULAR" AWARD

Rakhi Sawant.

She has got nothing but cleavage to show but still managed to grab eyeballs (and balls in some cases) because of her "Insaaf". So much so , that a guy committed suicide after being "justice-d" by her! Awesome.

(5) "WE WILL KEEP FUCKIN' YA COZ YOU GOT NO BALLS" AWARD

Terrorists , Naxals , Scamsters and most of the other criminals

India isnt Israel. India is well.. India. Soft on terror & crime - so soft that even the word "soft" feels ashamed. This is the place where people of some community hold up an entire railway route (Delhi-Mumbai no less) for days over a stupid issue and Govt. does nothing about that - no tough measure or anything. Also, where a terrorist like Kasab "enjoys" the jailstay at taxpayer's expense for days.

Need I say more?

(6) "I AM ON A FOREVER SELF-DESTRUCT MODE" AWARD

Pakistan

The morons have only 1 agenda - Bleed India. And in the process, they get ruined themselves. I am not sure how future will look but I can sense that however the world's map looks like in the coming years, Pakistan only has a 0.002% chance of being there.


AND FINALLY....

(7) "PERSON OF THE YEAR" AWARD

Forget Mark Zuckerberg (TIME's person of the year). He just created Facebook. Nothing special.

The man who matters is the - DISGRUNTLED GENIUS' PERSON OF THE YEAR.

And hes none other than -



RAJINIKANTH

Some facts first:
  1. 'Robot' - made at Rs 150 Cr + earned a cool Rs 300 Cr + only coz of this guy's star power
  2. The beginning credits in each of his movies dont say "Starring - Rajinikanth". They say " starring - SUPERSTAR Rajinikanth". How awesome is that ?
  3. The guy is the biggest superstar of India , yet he is so humble and non-pretentious - unlike some of the Bollywood star farts who have half the star power but behave like Gods!
A detailed version of why Rajini rocks - Here.

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This draws curtains on the Most coveted JHAKAAS AWARDS for 2010. We'll be back next year - probably with more categories. Already in thought pipeline - "KICK MY ASS FOR AM SO IRRITATING" award. Well, you can argue that Veena Malik is a sureshot winner for this year under this category but well.. we'll introduce it in 2011 - irritating people will never cease to exist, you see.

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Anyhow folks.. have a happy new year. 2010 is gonna be toast soon so junk it and also, all the negativity and shittiness of this year. Look forward to 2011 - yes, newer negativity and shit - but also new hope and new dreams. God bless ya.

Cheers..................................................................

17 comments:

MangoMan said...

Ho ho! Witty! New year wishes, buddy!

mad said...

And for a nice, refreshing post you get the 'SMATYPANS' award! LOL

BTW only thing I don't agree with is our team lifting the World Cup - my inkling is they would be left on the 'WC' like last time.

Mag[m] said...

ROFL dude.... u mixed some serious issues with the humour...that was the best par man.... u rock again mayank

ash89 said...

Omg...someone committed suicide because of Rakhi Sawant? This is crazyy!!!

Deepika said...

JHAKAAS... sahi hai!
awesome wrap up of a total screwed up year..
but hrithik :(

but person of the year... fabulous! perfect.

and will look forward for the Disgruntled genius's jhakaas awards 2011 :D

Disillusioned guy said...

awesome one!!! yar tujhe ye sab sujhta kahan se hai?

Alka said...

Abhishek is basking in the reflected glory of his dad..and his wife(?)
Any Award for Sachin is welcome...

Have a great year Mayank.

DISGRUNTLED GENIUS said...

@MangoMan , Mag , Deepika .. Thanks :)

DISGRUNTLED GENIUS said...

@Mad.. Thanks dude! N Na. I think they have a very good chance. Esp after our victory in Durban today ; I am more convinced.

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@Ash.. yeah, some guy did. The world aint short of morons.

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DISGRUNTLED GENIUS said...

@Disillusnd guy.. The 'honorary people' mentioned in my blogposts frustrate (and hence, motivate) me fr this :) .

@Alka.. Yup, her too. Although shes goin the same way. Could have been totally disasterous but Rajini saved her :) ..

Have a gr8 2011 ...

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Blasphemous Aesthete said...

but I seemed to like that guy named Mark. But then, India belongs to Indians, and Rajnikant does a terrific job even at this age. Okay, I am highly skeptic of using that kind of language to my neighbor nation, what ever they might be doing.
BTW have you been to Pakistan that you conclude that they drool(no, bleed) all money over India?

And all hail Sachin, I really wish that your 100% prediction comes true.

Riya said...

Awesome , jhakaas again!

x Love x :)

DISGRUNTLED GENIUS said...

@Blasphemous.. I dont need to visit them. Its a common fact. They only have one industry - ISI backed terror - totally recession-proof ! :D

@Riya .. thanks........

Nehha N Josshi said...

New Year wishes to you! :))

Prateek said...

A mistake. It is douche not

Anonymous said...

Hello! nice blog!

Priya said...

Deutsche-bag? What's that, a german douchebag?! :P
Funny post!! :D