Tuesday, November 9, 2010


Indians and Sex.

This is a relationship thats always strained. This, despite the fact that horny people all around the world are "positioning" themselves according to Kamasutra- given by us to the world.

Now, why the hell is 'Sex' a four letter word for us? We all are as horny as .. lets say, Americans or Brits or French ( although not as horny as Pakis because fucking a goat is where we draw the line). And we are fully aware of Khajuraho & Kamasutra.

Common face it. We all have come across irritating pricks ruining our nice time in parks by getting all desperate at 'strategic' locations and indulging in wild 'fluid discharging' sessions of grab this , touch that. Every city has some 'hot-spots'. Like Nehru Park or Budha jayanti park in Delhi. I say, if you have got a webcam or even a cameraphone, just go wild. Capture those pricks on camera and release the clips as some aesthetic movie ( remember Love, sex, dhokha?)

But then, why do we act like a deer caught in headlights the moment someone mentions the 'S' word? Why do we treat Sex as something worse than a Uday chopra movie?

After thoughtful investigations, I have come up with the following points - that explain the ways Indian treat their Sex:


Nowadays, the moment you start thinking about love & sex, you are 'Khap-ped' or 'Shiv Sena-fied'. Now, I firmly believe that Valentine day is the biggest bullshit ever to have been heaped upon our country by the Phoren dudes but I dont see any point in attacking lovers on the day - all in the name of "culture".

Frankly, for these Khap and Sena boyz, "culture" is what they think; not what reality is. But watever, I wont get into lengthy discussions about how our culture has always treated love and sex as sacred etc... you get the gist.


Paranoid parents who think that their teenage child is an angel and should be kept away from anything even remotely attached to Sex, are the biggest problems of all. For starters, no teenage prick is an angel today. Infact, screw them. No 'tween' (8-12 yrs) even, is innocent nowadays. This is evident from the following things>

  • MMS clips. DPS started it. Other schools have graciously followed suit.
  • Romance attached to an increase in social standing for pricks upon "doing it".
  • Increased communication gap between parents & their pricks.
Somedays back, I read a true account in Times of India by a girl whose parents gave her an ultimate Rahul Mahajan-isque shock. Whole her life they had shielded her from sex and its education. They got little worried at the time of her wedding. So, what do the morons did? They gave her some porn videos to watch and "learn".

Frankly speaking, this parental paranoia about sex education and the attitude towards sex is the major hurdle in developing a healthy thinking towards it on part of children / teenagers. And also the biggest side-cause of AIDS etc. because these parents' horny pricks dont know or think about "covering up" their acts with protection.


This perhaps is an insult to sex on our part. Especially, the 'Mallu' sex clips. They are terribly funny rather then being even remotely close to erotic. Most of them have some common stuff and acts like:

  • During the whole 5-15 minute clip, the guy will confine himself to the chick's neck (reason being that she will thwart every attempt of the poor guy to kiss or to grab atleast a boob)
  • The whole exercise is done without nudity ( that makes it a porn that whole family can watch)
  • Both the 'actors' constantly wear a constipated look on their faces
  • The setting is always some shady bedroom ( some have Rajinikanth pics hanging on walls)
  • Background music is always some crappy instrumental dance bar sounds
I think you get the gist. Our semi-porn / porn industry is a perfect example of whats wrong with the way we view Sex.

Frankly, in no uncertain terms; if we dont grow up and behave maturely vis-a-vis sex, we are just gonna top the charts in AIDS and population. Sex is not a dirty word. Its not "banned" / condemned by religion ( Ask Nithyananda types). And its not just for procreation.

Its a basic necessity for humans. And if we dont treat it that way, we will simply give more ammo to an already frustrated society which treats its women as nothing but lust objects and gives a shit about them.

So, next time you find some modern 'dude' staring desperately at cleavage with his mouth watering, take pity on him and his parents and pray to God that we evolve as a society.



Priya shah said...

Love the way you present serious issues wit awesm humour :) .. Super-cool post .. loved the semi-porn part LOL !

ash89 said...

haha...i liked the uday chopra comparison :P
I too never understood why sex is treated with a 'hauuu' reaction. Cant change mentalities I guess.

Anonymous said...

Heh heh heh.

And yea, something needs to be done, to improve the quality of Malayalam soft-porn movies. I think they use moldy film and cameras from the 60s, looking at the quality (which is no different in a movie theater, than what you see on the Internet) of the video.

We need better lighting, better cinematography, and most importantly, better looking actors and actresses!

But then again, the artistes' looks aren't that big a concern for the 50-years-plus frequenters to the shady theaters showing A-rated Malayalam movies.

MissTerious♥ said...

yehi to india dhokha khaa gya..lol..i mean...
a bunch of hypocrites...! the Indians..!

parents throw their children out even today if they find out an affair.
anyway, we all Indians are a bunch of hypocrites.

Can't change the mentalities, but I ll start from ME.
I hav already promised to be the mosttt understanding parent in the world.

Alka Gurha said...

Honest post..U have said it as it is...Interesting Khap-ped.
I guess times are changing and sex education is the only way forward. The topic has to come out of the closet. Also for the reason that if it remains a taboo several young kids of both genders become victims of sexual abuse. In school buses,lifts,parks..Remember the case in Delhi where the school bus driver abused 3 kids for almost an year.

chatterbox unplugged said...

best one so far !

mad.madrasi said...

hey, hey, hold on now ...
I like looking at cleavage, in fact the whole divine form - live.

Mayank said...

@PS , chatterbox : thanks.

@Ash : Thanks :) . I guess we can only start wit self.. only the young can bring a change in future. Existing mentalities cant be changed sadly..

@Miss-Terious: Indians are the biggest hypocritical bunch in the world, no doubt. Good that you have decided tht.. we can only change ourselves..Rest follows.

@Alka: Such cases make the need for sex education in schools (& home) even more pressing.


Mayank said...

@Rindojustrindo : Liked the fact you took it in good spirit. Those clips ssly need image makeover so tht not only the 50 yr old frustrated uncles but we youngsters can also enjoy homegrown cinematic art :)

@ Mad: Every guy does it yar :D . But theres a difference between looking at it normally and looking with utmost frustration. To quote Seinfeld: "Looking at cleavage is like looking at the sun. You take a peek and you look away. You dont drown yourself in it"


Riya said...

Typical "mayank" post .. sarcastic,awesum n funny! loved the mallu porn part hihi .. I must say you have researched on this very well :P

Niket said...

Point very well taken dude!
Every now & then there is atleast one news related to rape or sexual abuse in the newspapers and now sex education is the only way forward, I guess.
And as far as Sex being one of our needs is concerned,true, very true. And it goes without saying that since we don't kill others for food, clothing & shelter, we just can't rape somebody to satisfy our lust! It is just not acceptable!

Mag[m] said...

great post dude..... BTW sex is three letter word as i know

Mayank said...

@Niket.. well put

@Mag .. For us, its 3 letters. For any khap-ped dude, its a four-lettered (way of expressn) 'bad' word lol


Ria said...

He he just loved the way u hav written this post. I seriously dont get it as to whay is it such a big deal when it comes to sex in India. And what u have written is jus so true. And yes i hope our generation bcomes more open abt such issues so that our coming generations do not hesitate to talk about it.

Nidaa C said...

Child: Mom, what is sex?
She opened the tap and chidings poured out in torrent... Poor child:(

"No mom, its just that there is a column called sex in this form teacher gave us"

Blasphemous Aesthete said...

talking of sex, there is taboo even on those french kisses. I wonder when will parents throw away those TV sets, or maybe put it in a hideout, as day by day hindi shows are also catching up.

rainboy said...

kya likh hai ,dil khol ke bilkul...

sex is fun for me,like having a good time,no strings attached please.

I never thought of it as something sacred ,it's a need of human body like food and being social.

you wrote "next time you find some modern 'dude' staring desperately at cleavage with his mouth watering, take pity on him and his parents and pray to God that we evolve as a society."

haha come on yaar,we all like to look at nice bodies... appreciate that...I even let junior girls from my college(2 years ago) play with my biceps coz they were staring so much ;)
What can I say , I am very kind hearted person ;D

anyways...loved your post...
take care


@Riya: Hope floats. Amen!

@Nidaa: LoL

@Blasphemous: TV is in a dire need of censure-ship; stupidity is gettin out of cntrl.

@Rainboy: Arre bhai, every guy loves the divine cleavages. What i specifically meant by this line is explained in my reply to 'Mad madrasi' above. And appreciate ur big heart! Now, just pass on my awesome blog's link to those girls.. Let them appreciate the genius in me.. n subsequently, my kindness too :)

Thanks for the comment..

Falaxy said...

the description of mallu clips was the best!
LMAO@ "Porn for the whole family to watch"!! :-D

Som said...

Bhai ... Rajni Anna on the wall took the cake. Well written dude, ... Basically it is all due to Hypocrisy and Jealousy ...

Every body loves Sex, but unfortunately in our country most don't get it (but still I don't know how the pop is increasing ?!!) thus they don't want others to enjoy it too ...