Tuesday, November 16, 2010


Dear M,

No "Hi , how are you" etc niceties for you. I am forced to write this letter because I am feeling increasingly irritated at you! Have you closely observed yourself nowadays? I mean, fine, you havent become all hopeless but some of your habits off-late are bugging, really.

You got me right there. You have been pretty hard on Mahajan, SRK, Arundhati Roy, Rakhi Sawant etc etc while cleverly ignoring your own irritations. But its your turn now dude!

I just cant understand you really. Sure, you havent yet lost your intelligence in favour of "being part of the crowd". Its evident in your blog. Seriously dude, Mahajan-Man was awesome creativity. But some of the posts that you wrote like the one on Hrithik or that 'anti-good people' one are too much to digest! Common admit it. You wrote them because you didnt have any better ideas and you just wanted to write against something - anything, Right?

And whats with the hypocrisy regarding blogger contests? You dont like them because the "famous people" who judge them are talentless pricks who will never award the winner's spot to a post with intelligent sarcasm. Still, you bloody enter them. Like that contest on blogadda where you entered your awesome post on "Aunties" but still failed to win because of a moron who wrote an emotional account of his grandmother! WTF ! I hope you stop entering these. Besides, blogadda ? Common man! You can do better and you know it. You are getting offers from comic projects and magazines to do a comic/post - either Mahajan-Man or some other - but you will remain stuck in these contests, no? WTF Man??

Coming to your "offline" life, whats the matter there? You claim to be indifferent and not get effected by events but your ego boosts upto thousands of notches when some random chick recognises you in some random blogger meet and praises your sense of humor and sarcasm. Some indifference this huh? Did you see the funny look on your face then? Like you are the king of this world! King?? Really? You write a blog which quite nicely and thankfully isnot politically correct and calls a spade a spade but still is only one of the 10000s on blogosphere and cant really make much of a difference to society. I mean, no-one will stop watching Big Boss and start praising intelligence just because they read your blog. But still, you behave like you are the Barrack Obama of India. Get real beta!

Also, you have become fuckin lazy! Small Example? Your room's night lamp has a fused bulb since 5 days but you cant move your lazy ass to buy a new bulb from the market! You can sit infront of laptop playing games but cant move your sorry bum for real tasks. You procrastinate every conceivable situation till that situation is standing on top of your head with a big 'danda' (rod) in its hands. Sure, you eventually get the work done and good but you have to idiotically procrastinate, dont you?

And now the point which has really saddened me. You have always hated most of the world because of the fakeness and stupidity around but wheres that fighting spirit you used to treasure? Dont you remember those fine college days just an year or so back when you used to challenge and re-script every idiotic practice? I still cant forget those MBA days and those presentations. Sure, you cant forget that 'Presentation on management thinkers' in 1st semester where you used sarcasm to describe what thinkers preached unlike other morons who yanked away for 20 minutes citing how great those people were and in the process , making everyone go numb due to sleep.

Or, that presentation on "famous brands" where you showed a youtube video of a combination of several brands with Linkin Park's tracks playing in its background and the video even showing a couple kissing while sitting in their Bentley (loved that small Bentley Ad - awesome brand, this car!). Imagine that! 65 year old marketing professor evaluating that presentation with 50+ tense students waiting for their turn and you showing kissing videos as part of your project while playing Linkin Park!

Dont you remember that incident at railway station once? Some auto guy asked for 500 Rs fare to Airport from a foreigner dude and you couldnt take it? You risked a beating from autowallahs but made sure the foreigner paid the normal fare only. Where the fuck is that spirit? Nowadays you you dont wanna fight at all! You just blurt out an irritating "Watever!" or "Eh!" and go on with business. Your hate for the world has increased day by day and sadly, so has the indifference.

Now, let me give you a real good advice. Just because you got 100% on facebook's "how good a boyfriend will you be?" quiz, dont think that you are the perfect "boyfriend material" OK? Sure, you are witty, smart, intelligent, considerate etc and you have some real romantic ideas for dates but too much of self-obsession / narcissism is irritating. Get over it!

And no. You are not a real book lover. Why? You dont read novels ..almost at all. Just because you read a few sarcastic and good books now and then and you love & have read every Ayn Rand book and can debate endlessly on her philosophy; that doesnt mean you have become a book-lover. So, stop pretending that. Its irritating ok?

Sigh. What to say? I felt its my responsibility to tell you how irritating you are. I hope I got the message across. And if I havent, I would request you to pause those fucking computer games and pay attention here!

God save you dude.



chatterbox unplugged said...

Congrats....you have taken self-obsession and narcissism to an all new heights !!! :D

ash89 said...

Oho! Stop being so hard on yourself!! :D

Priya shah said...

Whoa! You aint that bad! Go easy on urself yar :) .. That 100% on FB quiz part was hilarious. Also, this post was again typical you. However, if you are planning part-2 for this, do call me. I will tell you more points :P

Riya said...

Arre baapre ! Itna criticism ! The facebuk quiz part was super funny :D .. and you are good bf-material, dont worry hehe

Rashi said...

cudn't resist writin a commnt on this one... :P
gues most of the ppl take it that u have been hard on urslf but I think this ain't criticism at all..;)
This was more of a critical analysis.!!! negativities were well balncd by the positive aspects!!!
*Like it big time, donnie*

MissTerious♥ said...

masttttt....proud of u...

moral of the story is....we all r bsy finding mistakes in others....hum sabse zada kharab khud hi hote hai...:P
.bulb thik karwa lo jaldi..n i like ppl who have the courage to criticize themselves.

Aneesh said...

One awesome post..!!
One hell of an idea..!!
One person to credit..!!

Alka Gurha said...

Reflection, introspection and course correction ...Great!
The sad part was the reminder that we are but a mere speck in the vast world of Blogging..

Shail said...


mad.madrasi said...

okies, you've convinced me. I promise -
not to watch BB or RKI;
no blogger comps;
never read 'shrugged' anymore.
This promise made now - 20th Nov 2010 at 11:16 AM
Shit! have to change that run down CMOS battery soon - its screwing up my calendar.

Deepika Vasudeva said...


calm down.... this was hilarious... sorry if it was meant to be criticism... but it did made me laugh..

gr8 work