Monday, November 22, 2010

THE ART OF BAK-CHODI (Bullshit) - PART 2



I will never understand why we all love bakchodi so much. Theres so much around and it aint gonna end (even subside) in near future. This post 'analyses' two such bakchodis - which are nothing better than Rakhi Sawant's speech at the United Nations on matters of nuclear proliferation.

(1) THE 'EXPERTS'

'Experts' are people who think they are better than anyone else because they know so much about their topic. The reality, however, is that they are a bunch of hypocritic bakchods who dont deserve even 0.23 seconds of my attention. And within the 'experts' community, the stock market / economy experts take bakchodi to ridiculous levels. These people have some 'set' sentences which they utter all the time and now will be analysed for their real meaning as follows:

What Stock Market / Financial expert (SMFE) says: Invest in stock XYZ. Its future is bright.
What he really means: Damn! I myself have invested in XYZ! I have to make it sound attractive come what may else am ass-fucked!

What SMFE says: ABC company has good fundamentals. I have talked to their higher management and they seem upbeat about future.
What he really means: Fuck! I couldnt even get appointment to see the gatekeeper of ABC company. But I will make it sound good as I have bought its stocks! Lord, save my ass please!

What SMFE says: The economy will bounce back / grow higher in 6 months.
What he really means: I am just guessing! Besides, whos gonna remember what I said after 6 months anyways? FTW!

The grand economic recession of 2008-09 which struck at the same time my MBA placements were to start was the proof that SMFEs just guess everything and are utterly useless. The basic point is that these SMFEs dont know jack-shit about anything. They just pretend and earn millions for doing nothing. In this way, its a dream job and thats why they should be respected - for being the biggest weasels around!

Hats off to you fuckin morons!

(2) RECENT BARKHA DUTT , VIR SANGHVI etc AUDIO TAPE CONTROVERSY

If 2G scam wasnt enough, now comes the journalists' audio tapes controversy in which a PR professional, Nira Radia has been found talking to top journos like Barkha, Vir sanghvi etc. and the transcript hints at a possible media-politics-corporate nexus to install A Raja as the telecom minister.

Now, Bakchodi regarding any issue cant get bigger than this. Did we really think that journos are noble souls out to make India a better place? Frankly, whoever did really believe this needs to undergo a brain installment surgery - FAST! And in any case, this so called scandal is nothing infront of the 'Paid news' scam.

But you cant beat the netizens of our country in bakchodi. Within minutes of the scam breaking out, our "facebook and twitter activists" sprung into action. "I hate Barkha dutt" etc pages were created within seconds and 1000s became 'members' within a jiffy. Everyone wrote fancy stuff like "These people are corrupt" or "hang them" etc etc on twitter and FB and considered their responsibilities over. Frankly speaking, just as 24000+ followers on "I hate khap panchayats" wont stop those old frustrated dudes from killing young lovers; such 'internet activism' wont take us anywhere. It will always be a bakchodi and remain a convenient form of 'protest' for some dude/chick who loves Rang De Basanti and THINKS (only thinks, no action) he should really do something for the nation.

Lord save us from bakchodi ..........

Cheers . . . . . . . .

15 comments:

Sandeep Kodam said...

You are the first one I came across to point out the hypocrisy in RangDeBasanti....hmmm,lets not make a big deal about it anyway!You've done a great job esp re those idiots on facebook and twitter,kudos

DISGRUNTLED GENIUS said...

RDB ws a pretty nice mov.. Hypocrisy lies in fact tht sm ppl see it n think of doin smthng for the country.. but ultimately dont... even the smallest gestures of savin electricity n water.

Sandeep Kodam said...

ultimately,a movie is not a movie unless it moves out of the screen,good or bad!!!I do like to discuss more...but,I will stop here.Keep writing,you make an interesting read

Aditya Kumar said...

very true about those financial experts. and the poor souls who believe them are the ones who lose. they learn the lessons for the next time that they shouldn't believe these bakc**ds

Alka Gurha said...

The financial expert did not predict the shelling of Korea..Sensex down 600pts. About media, yes we hear planted news and that media is a big business.

nOt anyone you know said...

bakchodi is importnat.
what is shit if not manure in the long run.

the world has to screw itself up to finally get so exhausted that there is no stamina left. then there will be peace. and then the manure will be use.

so piss,puke, shit all you can.

bleh. dont mind me.

DISGRUNTLED GENIUS said...

@Not anyone.. The world is stocking up on tht puke since forever. It'll only turn to manure if the human race ends .. i.e. becomes 'fossils' :)

@Aditya.. hopefully...

@Alka.. big and dark business. They dont have any ethics or norms; proof: their coverage during 26/11.

@Sandeep.. Well put. It should definitely move out of the screen.. but should result in action. That would be nicer than mere words.

nOt anyone you know said...

hehe mentally they have already turned into fossils, everyone is stuck, or confused.
but yes, there are bolder avenues that we tread upon and mightier enemies we fight and all the blah, and not to mention the spiritual gurus of the day who travel in their BMWs with the path towards nirvana nicely etched out.

but yes, we need a huge meteor hitting the earth or a 2012 actually realised.

Som said...

Armchair Activism is our birth right and we will have it ... :D because it takes less effort to blabber and type than to go and Vote ...

DISGRUNTLED GENIUS said...

@Not anyone.. Spiritual gurus are fun to watch. Esp when they are all covered in Gold rings etc but tellin the "innocent followers" to shed all materialism. Anyhow... i liked your profile name though... 'not any1 u knw'. You really hate the world n most ppl dont u? :)

@Som.. you said it. Hence the FB groups against dowry, khaps, Arundhati roy etc. Activism is just one click away :)

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Priya shah said...

Very nice post :) . I just love the variations in ur writing.. its brilliant. From mahajan-man to ur last one on wedding guests..plus this. Keep rocking :)

Ria said...

So true!! There's just too much of hypocrisy around...and what u said abt the financial experts is so true as well. Very well written i'd say.

nOt anyone you know said...

naah it is the other way round

DISGRUNTLED GENIUS said...

@Ria .. thnx.

@NAUK .. Well then i must say , u must be a very interestin person indeed :) .

Anonymous said...

Do you people have a facebook fan page? I looked for one on twitter but could not discover one, I would really like to become a fan!