First of all, the inspiration to this post came from the following:
Now, to the post…………
I sincerely believe that theres no difference between a racy bollywood potboiler and hindu weddings. What does a normal bollywood movie has? Drama, emotions, sex, suspense etc right? Same goes for the weddings. Let me elaborate:
If you choose to ignore the ‘buried in make-up’ aunties and fat uncles who are constantly giving “I should be at home with beer and peanuts instead of here! Damn!” expression; you can actually find glamour. Young girls (Pretty Young Things) in testosterone inducing outfits are the life of those weddings. Their dance moves and pointless giggles make a guy actually thankful for being in that wedding.
O Common! The band? And their cliché marriage songs like ‘No entry’ and ‘Aaj mere yaar ki shaadi’ ? That’s musical enough. And come what may, dances are never in short supply, especially the famous “snake dance” (My personal favorite). Some people also go for live music but no-one cares as long as the food is good.
Comic relief is provided mainly by the relatives of both sides. No, not the main cast – they are too conscious as they are constantly under the recording-man’s glare. But relatives never cease to disappoint. They basically carry three expressions:
Ø > Damn! These people spent so much! How the hell he has this much money and I don’t? FML !
Ø > When the hell they will start the main course? I have had soup, paneer tikka ; even given the customary money envelope to the couple . What else they want me to do? Give me food!
Ø > The fake laughs when they come across another of their kind or the main cast.
T The best comic scene is played out during the mandatory photo sessions. Bored people coming one by one to get themselves clicked with the couple – if that aint funny, nothing is !
Theres enough suspense at these weddings. The classic “whodunit” is never in short supply. Only difference is that here, the question arises in context of poor groom’s stolen shoes and not murder. In this way, the groom is already in deep hole even before his marriage. To look good, he has to buy expensive wedding shoes (which he wont wear again unless & until his name is “Mahajan-Man”) and to top it, he has to pay through his nose to get the ‘hostages’ released.
DRAMA & ACTION
Drama is often coupled with action at weddings. All it takes to start the proceedings is a small argument between groups such as-
Ø >> Relatives from ‘opposing camps’
Ø >> Untimely demands for cars etc by groom’s family
Ø >> Demand for payment by recordingman / flowerman etc from drunk uncles
Ø >> Rejection of “I love you” / “lets have a coffee” demands of some Salman khan wannabe dude by a Pretty young thing
Action scenes are almost always unrehearsed and that adds to the spontaneous fun. Theres enough drama on the stage too during exchange of garlands. Grooms’ friends lift him up so as the girl cant reach him. What they don’t notice is the “Bunch of morons” expression on a girl’s face. Similarly girl’s friends push her back so that the groom doesn’t “garland” her easily. This prompts a “Nice chicks but hell irritating” expression on groom’s face which often goes unnoticed as no-one cares about the groom’s plight during & after marriage.
Emotions – tones of them – are there in every Indian wedding. As the time for the couple to leave approaches, the bride side’s “tear-ing apart” starts. The bride’s mother is always crying. The father however, starts at the appropriate time. He, infact holds the holy grail. When he lets loose, other relatives (brave enough to be still there at 4-5 AM) also join him in their full vigour.
…. FINALLY … SEX
And so we see that how in every which way.. an Indian (Hindu weddings precisely) are exactly like a bollywood potboiler.
And I dont know, why I wanna say " Picture abhi baaki hai mere dost" !