Friday, September 24, 2010

TERMS / PHRASES THAT NEED TO BE BANNED - Part 2


Continuing my 'analysis' of terms/phrases which are nothing but irritants with capital 'I'.

[1] 'I'll be there for you'

There? Where? And how? Are you 'Mahajan-Man' or someone with the combined power of a psychic & superman that you'll instantly know and arrive at the scene of the problem. People toss this fucking term so casually nowadays , it makes me want to just hunt them down and eliminate them. People in "love" , some friends etc puke this term so much but are the first to flee the scene when it actually matters. Pigshit!

[2] 'Push the limits'

Right. You know who says this mostly?

> Celebrities who cant survive without their army of servants etc
> Lazy morons who just sit on their couches but have opinions on every damn thing
> People who think they are champs but are the torchbearers of incompetence
> "Rebels" who ride Pulsars without helmets and advise others to do the same without realising how tiny their brains and other important assets are.

But have we ever asked what is 'pushing the limits' in reality? Its not some great thing but a simple concept. Everyone is screwed today. Pushing the limit is testing your ability to handle pain which certain situations bring with them as free gifts. You think its easy to keep every frustration inside you, not sit and moan about them and instead turn your painful situations into jokes and sarcastic, humorous blogposts? Its not and thats where the damn limits are pushed.

[3] 'No offense but...' / 'Dont take this the wrong way'

You are gonna say something real offensive obviously. So be a man and dont use this fucking phrase to "sweeten" things up because it wont work.

[4] 'You have changed so much' / 'You dont love me anymore'

This one is for girls. Let me make one thing very clear here. When a relation starts, the guy (only serious ones, not those assholes who just want to fuck and get over with it ) is ready to bear any tantrum but once the relation is settled, he wants a more mature approach to it. He may be busy in office etc and cant attend to tantrums all the time now unlike earlier. That DOESNOT mean he has stopped loving. So give him some credit and junk these phrases.

[5] 'I beg your pardon'

You cant understand a shit what someone is saying and all you can utter is "I beg your pardon". Its not your fault that you are unable to hear what the other person thinks is speech. Get some attitude! Shout ' Abe kya bol raha hai be! '

[6] 'Pen is mightier than the sword'

Really? Grab a pen and gimme a sword. I promise I would go real mighty on your poor ass. Pen was,is & will never be mightier than the sword. Thousands of years have passed and its still a fact that rebellious writings etc havent worked at all. Today's media age corroborates the fact. Despite the all powerful newspapers unearthing all scams, we Indians still think with our asses & vote for caste and religion. Bullshit. Power never flows through ink.

[7] 'Try & see the good inside everyone'

Your chick has just left you for an insanely rich dude, no-one cares for you and you only have a laptop with access to porn as your best friend. If you still have positive outlook, you have watched Hum apke hain kaun / Hum saath saath hain / Pyaar impossible ; way too many times! Know what? Theres nothing worse than being a complete moron. And that means trying to see good inside everyone.

Lemme say clearly: Our lives are too short and too screwed to even attempt to see the good in everone. They wont be there when you will actually need them so why bother? If you still havent understood, find the good in Suresh Kalmadi and Rahul Mahajan and get back to me. I will apologise.

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// Part -3 later.....
Thanks to the various blogger friends like Sweta & Nikita who suggested some hell irritating cliches due to which I am tempted for a third part.

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Cheers ................

12 comments:

Sweta said...

good going.... waiting for part 3 now :D

Rashi said...

Hey donnie,
excelent take on the cliched phrases...Luved Part I and II, both....:)
btw..m stil waitin for a brutal murder of ...."get a life dude!!!" ;)

chatterbox unplugged said...

enjoyed reading ....... !!

Afshan said...

I AGREE !!

nikita said...

ahem...ahem...

looks like " I'll be there for you " points on me only. :P

otherwise, amazing as always.."You have changed, you don't love me anymore " is true with girls..we 'll change it. :P

umashankar said...

Wish you'd added "Anyways" to your list.

No, I've nothing against "anyway".

Mayank said...

@All .. thanks :)

@Umashankar .. Part 3 will also b there.. suggestion noted :)

bebo ♥ said...

awesome..
Love the title of your blog...love the idea...n excellent post..
got u thru nikita..:)
m following..tc mayank

Nehha N Josshi said...

First let me praise you for your detailing that you've done in your point4, the one in brackets?? We tend to generalise things often. Good to see you made your point crystal clear:) Hehe. And yes, it's not about whether I agree with your points or not, but I enjoyed reading it...looking forward to more stuff:) Keep writing!

Mayank said...

@Bebo .. Thanx :)

@Neha.. Thanks. Lookin forward to you readin more stuff here too :)

Mag[m] said...

hey dude again u fired ur gun.... criticizing the things in ur way.... great going dood

Priya shah said...

Absolutely masterclass imagination :).