This post is dedicated to our bureaucrats, in particular , those from the HR Ministry (HRM) . HR stands for Human Resources but well, in our case: Humorous Resources !
Each day when I wake up, I think that our ministers and bureaucrats cant get any more stupid..err.. "intelligent" but well, they have an amazing capacity to prove me wrong every single day! Sheer Genius! I mean, you seriously cant beat the current gaffe. Vishy Anand ( World chess champ, Grandmaster.. remember folks? Think beyond Dhoni and Sania "Malik") was to be awarded an honorary doctorate at Hyderabad Univ.. Being a central Univ., the file went to HRM where those moron 'babus' asked Anand to prove his nationality. Why? Coz he spends most of his time in Spain (training) and tournaments (all international). I mean, sure, his passpost clearly mentions his nationality as Indian and he represents INDIA at every tournament but hey! Who gives a fuck? You have to be in India boy!
I guess our babus arent at fault really. So what if their IQs are a little less than Rakhi Sawant's ( 0.36 )? They were just following rulebooks; only in this case, the rule book seems to have been written by Dimpy Mahajan.
Infact, I will go on and declare that its Vishy and University's fault and not the babus'. How? Consider these points:
1 >>> How dare they send the file 'weightless'? Arent they aware of the fuckin protocol? Why the hell there wasnt any 'Gandhijis' stapled safely on that file? Where was the 'kharcha-paani'?
2 >>> I have lived in North India for whole of my life and consider myself an Indian. But, if I visit some place like Mumbai, Manoos brothers will run after me with their Chak de hockey sticks shouting "Jamma-aila! Mumbai only for Marathis !!". And Vishy expects that he will be welcomed in India after living abroad for most of his sensible life? How idiotic!
3>>> For the love of God Vishy! Get a grip man! No-one in our country gives a fuck about sports. Not even cricket. This nation is full of such God-damn idiots who think they are better than Sachin but cant differentiate between fine leg and Mandira Bedi's leg. They will go crazy about Sania marrying a Paki cricketer who looks like someone who has just got a major hit in his balls but they wont give a rat's ass about your insult. Grow up Vishy!
So, I will say: Chill Vishy. Play chess. Win accolades for India. I am proud of you. This nation has very few true sport icons ( No! Shahrukh isnt one of them.. for the love of God people! Chak De was only a fuckin movie!!). And You are one of our best. Just know one thing.. Never cross the way of babus! Otherwise, you will get "pawn-ed" !