Thursday, June 10, 2010

CHEAPEST DAMN THING IN THE WORLD? AN INDIAN LIFE.....


Indian life. Cheaper than everything else in this whole darn world. Heck, its even cheaper than the price you are willing to pay for a classy dinner date with Rakhi Sawant. The Bhopal verdict proves this point. Infact, the following three points prove the cheapness of an Indian life.

- Survivors got around Rs 20000 as compensation ;
- American assholes , responsible for the mess, got away and are living a cool life in USA ;
- Dow Spokeswoman released a statement that $500 is good enough for an Indian.

See, I told ya. It serves us right. We are a country of damn morons who have brains the size of the piece of shit coming out of a rat's ass. Thats why we deserve this. We are responsible for making our lives cheap and its all coming back now.




Leave aside Information Technology and an OK growing economy, worldwide we Indians are known for:

- Casteism
- Loud and lewd behavior
- Fighting over petty things
- Dirtying everyplace we visit
- Giving a shit about our development - mental mostly.

Thats why that $500 tag suits us. Infact, that Dow chick is being generous. If you ask me, I will put a tag of -$500 on many of my fellow citizens. Thats Right! I will actually TAKE $500 from those SOBs (Sons of Bitches). Face it: Indians are themselves responsible for the holy shit they have perpetrated upon themselves. What can you expect from assholes, many of whom went to Bhopal after the tragedy just to get registered themselves as victims with the help of touts so as to be eligible for compensation?

Listed below now are some of the point-to-point comparisons of Indians with people from other countries, say USA. This is to prove why I believe that I instead, should take $500 from these SOBs:

1] AFTERMATH OF A TRAGEDY

USA : People form groups to donate and collect money for victims , build memorials , ensure that politicos do everything to clean up the mess, bring guilty to book and help victims. Examples: 9/11 , Hurricane Katrina, Recent BP oil spill.

India: Guilty go scot-free, often with politicians' help. We collect money though for charity but we make sure we DEMONSTRATE this fact to our relatives and neighbors that we are so righteous and have contributed to something.



And mostly, that money is laundered to purposes other than the actual. And 20+ years after the tragedy, we suddenly wake up and hold stupid candlelight marches at the India Gate , Gateway of India , Victoria Memorial , 7RCR (PM's residence in Delhi) and where not, to bring guilty to justice. Way to go Suckers!

2 ] LOGIC IN ELECTIONS

USA, UK: They vote on performance and development because they DEMAND it.

India: We basically vote on everything except the development issue. Fuckers will remain hungry, without electricity , under clouds of crimes but wont vote out a moron MLA/MP just because hes from their caste / religion. Standing ovation for you, fools! No wonder politicos treat us like cattle and give a shit about our lives.

3 ] OVERALL ISSUES

USA: Issues range from scientific and economic to environmental like the recent BP oil spill.

India: Issues of national importance are: Sania's marriage , Whats being shown on TV, IPL, Rahul baba's charm , Anandi's illness, Rakhi's marriage and what not? Need i say more?

4 ] DEALING WITH ISSUES

USA, Israel, UK: Attacking and kicking any trouble's butt. Most profound thing is the life of their citizens. Period.

India: Citizens can go suck Orangutan's penis. Most profound thing is a fake goodie goodie image in international community.

5 ] FEELING ABOUT OTHERS' MISERIES

Other countries: Sharing others' pains and helping them in whatever way. Humanity still exists.

India: People enjoy others' miseries in groups. A man may be getting a beating from goons, a woman may be getting raped, some family may be fighting or watever; all we do is to crowd around and enjoy the "show". After the show ends, we all lament the fact that Government doesnt do anything and crime is increasing. Awesome!

-

I can go on and on and on. But whats the point anyway? There are so many disgusting-ness in our citizens that it suits us fine that we keep getting humiliated infront of the world. We arent responsible citizens, Period! We are just a bunch of fools who are idiotic even by third world countries' standards. All we can do is take out fashionable candlelight marches.. thats it! Duty over, lets now go back to home and sleep peacefully.

Indian dignity is dead! Long live Indian dignity!

Cheers.................................

9 comments:

Giribala said...

Wow, new format! It's great...and your sketches are funny too :-)

Mayank said...

@Giribala

Thanks :)

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Priya shah said...

Thought provokin n awesum ! Keep it up dude......

niyu said...

Theres always idiocy surroundin the way we treat ourslvs.... spot on wn u say we dont gv a shit abt our fellow citizens' life, y wl sm foreigner do tht?

Sujoy said...

well said...I totally agree with you...

Mayank said...

@Priya , Niyu , Sujoy

Thanks. :)

Indian Pundit said...

i am sorry but the point 4 and point 5 regarding "USA , UK" is pure non-sense.

""USA, Israel, UK: Attacking and kicking any trouble's butt. Most profound thing is the life of their citizens. Period.""

and having their butt kicked all the time......USA/UK lost almost every war they ever fought. Taliban is now kicking their butt..

""Other countries: Sharing others' pains and helping them in whatever way. Humanity still exists.""

Yeah humanity still exists....dropping billions of dollars of bombs on innocent people of other countries , assassinating their leaders ....really!....

Mayank said...

@ Indian pundit

Non-sense is not this dude... nonsense is the way in which Pakistan kicked our Foreign minister's butt durin recent talks. Did u see or were u busy in "candle light march for world peace" at India gate?

Would any country allow that? Esp US / Israel? US may hv suffered losses in wars but they showed resolve to fight...

Think abt this first.

Cheers

Niket said...

I have read this like any other Indian citizen, have thought for a moment about it like any other Indian citizen, now I will close this window like any other Indian citizen and then forget about everything that you have written like any other Indian citizen! :P

The only difference; I have commented, which is unlike any other Indian citizen! :)

Cheers!