Tuesday, June 29, 2010

F.R.I.E.N.D.S. :: THAT HIGHLY STUPID SHOW !


I will never get one thing: Why the hell stupidity is popular? An example is FRIENDS. A highly stupid yet popular sitcom. The reason for this anti-friends post is simple: I am disgusted at those morons who claim " ooo ! Friends is the best ! " or " ooh! ooh ! Its better than the rest :) ". Morons.

Now, before anyone goes ballistic on me claiming that every person has a right to choose what to see / do / feel; I will say that myself: No you dont! If you like shows like Rakhi ka swayamvar and friends; you DONT!




Friends is nothing but a dumbfuck sitcom. When you talk about comedy shows, you talk about Seinfeld , Whose line is it anyway? , Two and a half men.. not six jerks who just do stupid acts and nothing else.

Here are some of the logical reasons why FRIENDS SUCKS ASS :::

>>> You are well settled to watch a comedy show. You decide to watch friends. Bang in the middle of comedy, emotions surface. All those gay emotions- love scenes, tears etc etc. And you are left wondering: Am I watching a bloody sitcom or a fucking RomCom ?? Its like, you are having awesome sex and bang in the middle of it, the chick says " We need to talk! "

>>> Friends is nothing but a collection of stupid jokes. Theres absolutely NO story or buildup. In one scene, Rachel is doing something stupid amidst background laughter. The next scene Joey is doing different kinda stupid thing amidst background laughter. And thats it! Compare it with Seinfeld or Two and a half men. They have a proper story for each show and the buildup to each scene is amazing. You ACTUALLY enjoy laughing.

>>> Friends basically dont hold even a candle to Seinfeld- the most popular sitcom ever. The reason why theres an illusion that its more popular is because of its timing. It started in late 90s - a time when globalisation was just starting to explode. That was the time when Seinfeld had finished its run after super successful 9 seasons and a truckload of awards. Basically, due to good marketing ONLY, friends became more popular in perception; reality is otherwise.

Anyhow, bottomline is that Friends is nothing but dumbfuck collection of stupid jokes and stupid emotions bang in the middle of comedy. And thats why, I just had to 'destroy' it. Not a bad one for a 'comeback' post eh? And to all my readers (all 3 of them:: Yes! Theres 1 more now than last month .. yay), thanks for keeping patience.

Cheers........................ HIC !

Thursday, June 10, 2010

CHEAPEST DAMN THING IN THE WORLD? AN INDIAN LIFE.....


Indian life. Cheaper than everything else in this whole darn world. Heck, its even cheaper than the price you are willing to pay for a classy dinner date with Rakhi Sawant. The Bhopal verdict proves this point. Infact, the following three points prove the cheapness of an Indian life.

- Survivors got around Rs 20000 as compensation ;
- American assholes , responsible for the mess, got away and are living a cool life in USA ;
- Dow Spokeswoman released a statement that $500 is good enough for an Indian.

See, I told ya. It serves us right. We are a country of damn morons who have brains the size of the piece of shit coming out of a rat's ass. Thats why we deserve this. We are responsible for making our lives cheap and its all coming back now.




Leave aside Information Technology and an OK growing economy, worldwide we Indians are known for:

- Casteism
- Loud and lewd behavior
- Fighting over petty things
- Dirtying everyplace we visit
- Giving a shit about our development - mental mostly.

Thats why that $500 tag suits us. Infact, that Dow chick is being generous. If you ask me, I will put a tag of -$500 on many of my fellow citizens. Thats Right! I will actually TAKE $500 from those SOBs (Sons of Bitches). Face it: Indians are themselves responsible for the holy shit they have perpetrated upon themselves. What can you expect from assholes, many of whom went to Bhopal after the tragedy just to get registered themselves as victims with the help of touts so as to be eligible for compensation?

Listed below now are some of the point-to-point comparisons of Indians with people from other countries, say USA. This is to prove why I believe that I instead, should take $500 from these SOBs:

1] AFTERMATH OF A TRAGEDY

USA : People form groups to donate and collect money for victims , build memorials , ensure that politicos do everything to clean up the mess, bring guilty to book and help victims. Examples: 9/11 , Hurricane Katrina, Recent BP oil spill.

India: Guilty go scot-free, often with politicians' help. We collect money though for charity but we make sure we DEMONSTRATE this fact to our relatives and neighbors that we are so righteous and have contributed to something.



And mostly, that money is laundered to purposes other than the actual. And 20+ years after the tragedy, we suddenly wake up and hold stupid candlelight marches at the India Gate , Gateway of India , Victoria Memorial , 7RCR (PM's residence in Delhi) and where not, to bring guilty to justice. Way to go Suckers!

2 ] LOGIC IN ELECTIONS

USA, UK: They vote on performance and development because they DEMAND it.

India: We basically vote on everything except the development issue. Fuckers will remain hungry, without electricity , under clouds of crimes but wont vote out a moron MLA/MP just because hes from their caste / religion. Standing ovation for you, fools! No wonder politicos treat us like cattle and give a shit about our lives.

3 ] OVERALL ISSUES

USA: Issues range from scientific and economic to environmental like the recent BP oil spill.

India: Issues of national importance are: Sania's marriage , Whats being shown on TV, IPL, Rahul baba's charm , Anandi's illness, Rakhi's marriage and what not? Need i say more?

4 ] DEALING WITH ISSUES

USA, Israel, UK: Attacking and kicking any trouble's butt. Most profound thing is the life of their citizens. Period.

India: Citizens can go suck Orangutan's penis. Most profound thing is a fake goodie goodie image in international community.

5 ] FEELING ABOUT OTHERS' MISERIES

Other countries: Sharing others' pains and helping them in whatever way. Humanity still exists.

India: People enjoy others' miseries in groups. A man may be getting a beating from goons, a woman may be getting raped, some family may be fighting or watever; all we do is to crowd around and enjoy the "show". After the show ends, we all lament the fact that Government doesnt do anything and crime is increasing. Awesome!

-

I can go on and on and on. But whats the point anyway? There are so many disgusting-ness in our citizens that it suits us fine that we keep getting humiliated infront of the world. We arent responsible citizens, Period! We are just a bunch of fools who are idiotic even by third world countries' standards. All we can do is take out fashionable candlelight marches.. thats it! Duty over, lets now go back to home and sleep peacefully.

Indian dignity is dead! Long live Indian dignity!

Cheers.................................

Thursday, June 3, 2010

THE QUARTER LIFE CRISIS



In mid 20s. Directionless. Bored.

Thats the youth of India. Forget the mid life crisis.. we are facing a damn quarter life crisis [QLC] !

QLC is basically a bugging state of mind which gives birth to questions such as: Where I am heading? Whats my life for? Why the fuck I am so bored? Why dont MTV stops torturing intelligent minds? Ok.. last one is purely my frustration but the reality is that everyone of us is frustrated unless one is absolutely brain dead (a.k.a. MTV 'Angrez' wannabees).

I can think of QLC as: (BTW, if you think the drawing is crappy; you need urgent enhancement in the brain department.. concentrate on the message and not the crap drawing!!)


Why do we have QLC? Why are we so restless anyways? We are intelligent (except those morons who wear T-shirts with stupid messages or vote for Rahul Gandhi coz they think hes cute), yet we cant figure out why we are so bored and see no direction whatsoever. I myself belong to this category so cant find solutions but this post isnt about that anyways.

This generation, mine and yours, is shit confused about stuff. And its only coz we are the ones who spent a good part of our lives in pre-liberal India and latter now.. when everything has changed. We are confused about what to follow: Society or our mind? This confusion undoubtedly breeds a sense of un-belonging.

What I really find shitty is the question: Where am I heading and whats the purpose of my life? If you ask me this question in the morning, I will tell you am heading to office and the purpose of my life is to earn money to blow up on 'beer-ing' myself and having fun. If you ask me that when am back from office, the answer will change to: I am heading for my bed for am hell tired and the purpose is nothing but sleep! Ambitions, exercise, going out, discos etc.: Go, fuck yourself. My sleep is more important to me.

And trust me, I have realised that this is the only way to defeat QLC. Dont think ahead at all. Thinking too much or too far ahead can only lead to bullcrapped brain. The more we think, the more we lose. Its real hard not to do that but thats the only way to get out of QLC. Everyone's life is in some mess or the other. Trick is not to let that mess eat away the fun of being alive.

Btw, just substitute quarter life in place of mid-life in this image and you get the point:



We basically cant pinpoint the purpose of our lives or where we are headed. These are trap questions; aimed to put our minds into a loop of enormous confusion and insanity. Now, i dont give a shit about idiotic motivational chaps or books but I agree with one statement : The moment is NOW. We can plan but cant exactly know what will be the future. So, instead of thinking, the motive should be to have hell fun in the present.

Thats the only way to fuck QLC. Not being too hard on self because its OK to be down and dusted sometimes. Its perfect to be a rat one day instead of the cat. Questions will try to trap the brain but ultimately its for us to get up our asses and tell QLC to fuck off or better, bother those morons who have IQs less than the length of a housefly's nostril hair (This category prominently includes reality TV stars).

Cheers.