Tuesday, May 25, 2010

PEOPLE PISSING YOU OFF? JUST WHACK THOSE DAMN MORONS !

The two most common elements in the universe are Hydrogen and stupidity - Harlan Ellison

Stupid people . Irritants. Piss-ants. They are everywhere and are on a deadly Rahul Mahajan sponsored mission of taking over this world. Thankfully, there still are intelligent beings around and my message.. in fact, war cry to them is : WHACK THE DAMN MORONS OUT OF THEIR SENSES!

This post is dedicated to that 'whack' attitude and is in response to Blogadda's 'Whack It Wednesday' Contest (Link here). Thank goodness for this contest for I got one more idea / 'motivation' for ranting: Whacking the idiot piss-ants!

In this post, I shall analyse 5 things / people types that really piss me off and deserve a whack on their sorry Ass. Here goes nothing:

1. PEOPLE PLAYING LOUD MUSIC ON CELLPHONES W/O EARPHONES

You are in a train / bus / at some park and settled down peacefully. Just then, an idiot wearing a ridiculous T shirt with messages like " I am 50% virgin" destroys the tranquility by playing loud music on his new mobile which he desperately wants to display. I mean, what the hell? Get an earphone, you Jackass! And while you are getting that, get a life too!

2 . 'KNOW-IT-ALL' OPINION GIVERS

Just like news reporters thrust microphones into faces of hapless people, these opinion givers thrust their useless opinion into yours especially when you dont ask for it. This category consists mostly of old people, people who think they are smarts but are idiots and Mahesh Bhatt. They dont help in anything, just give their opinions. Stock market crash? Rakhi Sawant's husband? Global warming? No problem at all! They have an opinion on everything! They always start their sentences with "You know, I think... blah blah" and finish with " I hope I was of some help!". Well, I will call you when I feel the need for mass annihilation but till then: Leave me alone! Ultimately, my message to such people is:

[Image courtesy: Pringoo.com]



3. BITCHING

Bitching is the perfect way of proving to the world that you are nothing but a 'low on self-confidence , jealous' chap. I mean WTF man?? Instead of using your time thinking of logical ways to get ahead in life or at the least, get laid; you chose to bitch about other pricks? Why do you even care? Why dont you understand that we ALL have screwed up lives. So shut your pie-hole and live your life.

4. TELE-MARKETEERS

We all know why they are irritating. Enough said. The question is how to handle them? Just ask them whether they will want to get a call at inappropriate hour from strangers wanting to chat with them? And when they say 'No', nail those morons! A perfect way of getting your point across. And trust me, the 'tele-marketing' mafia will remove your name themselves from their 'attack' list with a warning placed infront of your number: " Isse bach ke rahiyo!!" .

5. MTV-CRAZY AMERICAN WANNA-BEES

Let me put one thing very clear: SPEAKING IDIOTIC MTV MUMBO-JUMBO IN FOREIGN ACCENT MAKES YOU LOOK STUPID AND NOT MODERN. I sincerely wish people understand this. But I know they wont because their minds have been corrupted with shit like roadies and splitsvilla. In the end, I dont even want to pray for them. I really wish for a Shiv-Sena type beating for these pricks.

Well, that was that. Although there are so many irritants around but these five take the cake. Whole 1000 Rs. Taj Confectionery's Chocolate cake. May God help these morons!

Cheers.

10 comments:

chatterbox unplugged:no room for pseudo sympathy said...

i lovve bitching...ok lets put it this way..i love spending quality time indulging in candid constructive criticism :) ... agree abt those loud music playing jerks

Priya shah said...

Awesum write up once again :) .. and i think all the stupidity around is turning you into a religious person.. u have ended last 2 posts with "God help these morons" :P :P

Mayank said...

@PS

yep.. the recent rant against religion motivated me... Part 2 on tht cmng soon :)

Rahul said...

hehe...sahi hai bhai ! even i hate those music playin assholes....... but suggest sm solutn..like tht with telemrketeers :)

Anonymous said...

You rant and rant and rant. Why the hell u hv so much problems wit ppl? Hearin loud music etc is smtimes irritatin i agree but bitchin n all? Arent u bitchin in a way dude? And ur earlier posts r moronic as well ! Just coz u r offended wit Hrithik, he shld b boycotted? WTF !

Mayank said...

@Rahul

kthxbhai LOL :)

@Anon (welcum back)

As usual. Anti- Me. I enjoy the criticism, moron so thats nt an issue. The issue is I think I know you .. anyways, you didnt like the posts? Dont read them. BTW, takin a cue from Maddox, think i will write a post abt u n ur likes.. i have enuf 'fodder' fr tht now :) YAY

niyu said...

Nice post dude... the Seinfeld-isque soln for telemarketin is genius :)

N if u plannin a Maddox style reply to 'Anon' guy, tht will b 1 hell of an awesum post hehe :)

Megha said...

Just a small question against your anger against those who bitch..isn't this whole blog nothing but bitching as well??

Mayank said...

@Niyu..

Wait n watch :)

@Megha

Nope. Coz>
1) I am not jealous of those who bitch / process of bitching ;
2) I am simply criticizing them / ranting against them and theres a huuuge difference;
3) I dont 'belittle' myself when I think of them.. infact i feel proud that i dont do it :D
--

Need i say more? :)

nikita said...

awwwwh....

all the above mentioned piss me off tooo...nd tshirts - i am half virgin..yeak....i hate it so..much.

and bitching.....nothing could be more cheap..i believe and i wonder 99% of crowd does that..u nd me are exceptions..heehee..