Saturday, April 17, 2010

'DESTROYIN' .. err.. ANALYSIN THE 'HOLY COWS' OF OUR COUNTRY >> Part 1

"All the really good ideas I ever had came to me while I was milking a sacred cow" ~Grant Wood



Holy Cows .. who you may ask? People who are above every logical criticism in our country. No no.. i am not talkin about politicians etc. I am talkin about the darlings of the intellectual classes, of the masses, of media etc. Yeah.. those fuckin morons. Pray, why are they morons? Read on....



SHASHI THAROOR

Tharoor or rather 'Twitoor' is one guy am really gettin sick of now! First of all, chicks dig him! Thats enough for me to raise my dislike meter a few notches. Secondly.. and more importantly.. he is assured of a dedicated fan base even if he goes out and commits murder in broad daylight. Seriously, what the fuck? Just coz hes on twitter and hes suave..that means hes a saint? I mean, look at his record. No concrete steps; only some mis-twits. Judge the reactions against his twit acts as naive or watever, the fact remains that hes always in a soup.

The recent Kochi IPL team fiasco underlines this fact. Twitoor is clearly wrong if he has a role in influencin the biddin outcome in favor of Kochi team. He denies that but what about his friend / fiancee gettin a $70 million stake in team for her 'business advice'? Whoa!! Thats not surprisin at all eh? He may / maynot be wrong but whats buggin me is the support for Twitoor from countless Twitter twatters. These "Ooo! ooo ! I am cool. I am on twitter. Hehehehe" type chaps and bimbos are supportin Twittor as if hes some God or something. Comments like "Hes so educated. He cant indulge in this" or "Hes so cuuute! Hes innocent" makes my blood boil so much (one of the reasons for current heat spell)!! Well... Educated? Cuuute? That means he cant misuse power? Damn!! Get a life people! (this comment btw is on my 'target destruction' list.. am really sick of this!). Anyways, question is: A person cant be termed guilty just coz hes unlike a typical greasy Indian politician?? Use brains. I need facts people!

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AMITABH BACHCHAN



Hes just too amazin! He has a blog, a video blog, a 'this' blog, a 'that' blog, twitter account and Jesus knows what! And at last count, he had 1,467,565,923,2334 followers. Yes! more than our population. Its like people are doin nothin intelligent like accessing porn and only checkin AB's updates! Now, call him highly intellectual or an advocate of style or sexy-at-65 or whatever.. in the end, hes just a guy sellin basically EVERYTHING on TV except bra/panty/underwear and Condoms. Cement? AB. Suit? AB. Hair oil? AB. Over-exposed irritation? AB. Okay. Granted. Hes an amazin talent and a living legend. But that doesnot mean that watever he says.. makes perfect sense! Whether hes havin problems with the Government or basically, shittin in mornin.. everything becomes news! Add his family esp. Abhi-Aish to the picture and it becomes scary!! In all entirety, AB is just a master salesman, AB junior is a flop actor and Aish is one of those overhyped Indians who prefer visibility to real talent.

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SHAHRUKH KHAN

His highness .. Lord of the ego-maniac-ism > SRK!! This dude has many qualities like:

1] He mostly plays Raj or Rahul. Sometimes other names, but the core i.e. "I love you KKKKKKKKiran" remains same;

2] He owns an IPL team which never reaches the semis and is always the butt of all jokes; primarily coz SRK is busy makin funny ads involvin the team and courtin controversies rather than buildin a solid player base.

3] His mindless (except may be DDLJ) 'super megahits' have always been with either Johar (I suspect thats him in this pic wit SRK) or Chopra. Complete contrast to Aamir Khan but anyways.

I remember the funny day when SRK joined Twitter. It was the event of the decade !! K. Johar (KJo) overwhelmingly twit-ted "GUYS!! SRK IS FINALLY HERE!! AIYAA ! YAY" . Seriously WOW! All our problems are solved now! SRK is here! Whoopieeeeeeeeeeeeee!

I mean what the hell! SRK is nothin but a junior salesman (wont tell you who the senior one is) with an ego ; the size of which, equals huge piles of elephant shit! And thats why his IPL team (KKR) never wins. All glitz, lesser substance.

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Know what? There are soooo many fuckin holy cows in this country man! Infact, they far outnumber the normal ones. Its going to take so many bizzare, irritatin and idiotic posts like this one to conduct a post-mortem on all of them..but well, worth the effort!

In all, i can just say > Picture abhi baaki hai mere dost..........

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## A WORD ON COMMENTS ##

After readin some of the comments on my last post, i have realised that my irritatin blog has finally 'arrived'. Two of them really proved that i have started to piss off people.. in short, have started to achieve my goal. YES!!!

The common "request" in those comments was that i should not be so negative and all; otherwise i will lose my peace! I mean, HUH??? Actually, you see; its a whole fuckin gameplan. Being negative and criticisin generally everything gives me a sense of purpose in my otherwise sadistic life; in turn, augmenting my inner peace. So, gals (kindly leave your numbers also when you comment :) ) and guys, if you find this waaaaaay negative, live with it! Its my sadistic inner peace after all!

Cheeeers............................... Hic!

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13 comments:

Riya said...

again a cool post dude..kp writin ..good u joind blogadda... as fr my num, u wl hv to wait :P :P :P

Mayank said...

@Riya...

thnks ...n u thr too? Whats ur blog? ..

iriDescent speculist .... they say thoughts carry weight, damn !! I'll neva b thin !! said...

very very well said man..!! I was actually googling for my blog (i know sounds kinda lame) but ran into urs instead..!!..a good coincidence tho..amazingly written posts man...I'm beginning to think all the 'Mayanks' in this world hold sumthin against stupidity...tc..keep blogging(lambasting ) ;) !!

Kartik (DBB) said...

while agreeing to some things, i would like to point out that your posts are more 'glitz, lesser substance'.. in your words. good imagination howevr.

Mayank said...

@ iridescent..

thnks man :)

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@ Kartik

dig deeper... u wl find substance beyond glitz (watever u mean by tht).

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Ankita Rao said...

Brilliant!! The imagination.. humor..sarcasm.. awesum! loved ur blog dude.... gone thru ur prfl n nt surprised u love rock n ayn rand :) :) ... keep writin comrade....

Mayank said...

@ankita:

thnx.. n interestin u used the word 'comrade' .. tht gave me an idea to write smthng abt the people to our 'left'.. :)

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Leonardo.dapinchy said...

Saala. Just started writing and you want phone numbers! Damn you! I had to struggle for a year to get a readers. You must struggle too!

PS: Nice post though.

ankita said...

hehe..comrade ws used to adress a fellow crusader-against-stupidity.. m glad it gave u ideas :) .. btw.. u on FB / gtlk etc? lemme knw

Mayank said...

@Leo...

thnx dude... n phn nos thing ws a desperate attempt which isnt wrkng.. all m gettin is " :P " (ref. 1st comment) instead of damn numbers!

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@ankita

Would love more ideas frm you comrade.. the eml-id is on the profile....

Anonymous said...

Very enlightening and beneficial to someone whose been out of the circuit for a long time.

- Kris

Anonymous said...

Many have found useful for myself

Deepika Vasudeva said...

bichara shajrukh bhi maara gya.

i pity on my darling.. but thankgod u didn't said anything abt DDLJ..(u r saved..lol)
i agree with some points over there... (even abt shahrukh.. yes, i know he too is just a human though a little famous.. 'LITTLE' being the keyword)
btw the person in the pic with him is shreyas talpade or maybe ritesh deshmukh.

seriously?? AB got so many followers.. even more than indian population? he must be paying ppl to raise his follower number.. ok chuck that.
nice post... na nice ain't the word.. cool maybe.